Page 87 of Ravenrose

He found my dagger.

My dagger.

He must have found it when he hooked his arm under my leg, carrying me off the road.

Light, Rowan. Look what you’ve done.

I stare at his belt, the black sheath where he’s keeping it.

The dark rune burned into my wrist might prevent me from hurting him, but it won’t stop me from taking it back.

That’s mine.

My head spins as I push myself up further.

Just maybe not today.

Despite the delicious warmth from the fire and furs, I didn’t sleep well. The body aches and relentless pounding in my head kept me up. And now and then, an icy chill rips through me so harshly it forces out a small whimper of pain.

I haven’t dared to look over at Ayer. I didn’t need to look to know he was watching, as usual—not that I was in any shape to try running away. His woodsy scent lingered nearby all night: ash and cedar.

As if summoned by the mere thought of him, he turns and stalks my way. The breeze shifts, blowing the leaves on the trees high above, and sunlight streams into the clearing. I wince as the bright light hits my face, the pain like a sharp knife to the skull.

A dark shadow passes, blocking out the offending sun and providing instant relief that loosens my shoulders. Then I look up and grimace. The dark shadow isn’t a trick of the light.

It’s Ayer.

“Time to go.”

I give him a curt nod to let him know I heard him, bracing myself with a deep breath before attempting to stand. I move slowly so as not to overwhelm my head that’s struggling to keep up.

Just rising to my feet takes considerable effort, and instills little confidence in my ability to get through what’s likely to be yet another full day of travel.

Finally upright, I waver slightly, feeling Ayer’s eyes on me still.

“Don’t you have anything else you could be doing?” I snap, humiliation burning hotter than the fever. I hate that Ayer gets to see me like this.

The insufferable captain leans his back against the tree, pulling an apple from his pocket and taking a bite. A look of amusement on his face.

“No.”

My cheeks blaze, and as adrenaline crashes through me, the world lurches violently around me. I’m forced to close my eyes, holding out my hands for balance in order to prevent myself from toppling over.

After a few long seconds, and once I feel like I’m no longer in danger of pitching forward face-first into the dirt, I tentatively open my eyes. I breathe slowly in and out before carefully leaning down to pick up one of the furs I slept on last night, rolling it tightly before reaching for the next.

Ayer straightens from where he was leaning against the tree. “You don’t have to; Hayes will get those.”

“It’s fine,” I mumble as I finish rolling up the second fur, needing to do something other than just exist. I feel his eyes on me for another moment before he walks over to give the remaining apple core to Dash.

As soon as his eyes are off me, my knees buckle under my weight. I stumble over to the same tree Ayer had just been using for support and let it steady me.

You can do this.

You have to do this.

There is literally no other choice but to do this.

Ayer’s men have set a fast daily pace to wherever-the-stars-know we’re going, and I know yesterday’s delay cost them. There is no way Ayer is willing to sacrifice another whole day on account of me. I’m just going to have to figure out how to get through this.