Page 106 of Dancing in the Dark

He speaks such pretty words and soothes some of the frayed edges being here causes me, but my shitty trauma cycle wouldn’t be complete without remembering, in exact detail, that day he called me a waste of his fucking time.

Self-centered.

A train wreck.

The single most stressful woman he’s ever met.

Ouch.

“What?” He inches back and searches my eyes. “What happened?”

“Nothing.” Nothing new, anyway. And he already apologized for that. Cuddling into his side and studying the group on stage, I focus only on the little girl waiting for her turn in the spotlight.

“Sera? Hey?” He attempts to draw my focus. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. I kinda wish I was backstage with Mia.”

“You do?”

“Mmm. I could tell her how amazing she is. How brave she’s being. Remind her that if she doesn’t want to dance, she doesn’t have to. I could hug her, because we both know she likes those.”

He reaches around and cups my jaw, tilting my head back and forcing me to meet his eyes. “I know being here is probably bringing a lot of shit back for you. I know it probably hurts.” He leans in and brushes his lips over mine. “I know I suck pretty much most of the time, my mouth rarely works in harmony with my brain, and my daughter’s emotional needs have put a lot of pressure on you to be here tonight.”

“No, it’s⁠—”

“But I want you to know I think you’re really fucking amazing.”

Stunned, humbled, I snap my lips shut.

“You’re selfless,” he continues. “Kind. Supportive and forgiving, even of a guy who hardly deserves it. You’re so gentle with a little girl’s heart, even though you don’t have to be, and you love her, even when it’s scary and you’re never truly confident the rug won’t be yanked out from beneath your feet.”

Emotion swells in my chest and comes up to make my eyes itch.

“She was never your responsibility, and letting someone else’s five-year-old put her dirty, sticky fingers on your perfect clothes is no one’s idea of a good time.” He inches closer and feathers his lips over mine. “No matter what happens between me and you, and no matter how many times I cram my foot in my mouth or screw up, I need you to know you’ve changed Mia’s life for the better.”

My breath comes out in a shuddering exhale. “Really?”

“Really. And because she lights up simply by knowing you, I want you to believe me when I say you won’t ever lose her. Even if I’m a dick,” he chuckles. “Even if you dump my ass and I spend the rest of my miserable life alone. I know it makes you anxious, and you feel you have no claim over her. But you do.” He rests his forehead on mine. “For the rest of her life, you will be who she thinks of when she’s selecting Mother’s Day and Valentine’s Day cards. When they interview her for her senior yearbook and they ask who the most influential female role model in her life is, her answer will be you.”

“I mean…” I sniffle and drop my gaze to his chest. “She has Minka, too. And Aubree.”

“Influential? Yeah. Intelligent and kind and supportive?” He nods. “Sure. They’ll get a mention. But the most influential? The most supportive?” He places a finger beneath my chin and draws my focus back up. “That’s your crown to wear, Sera. It was yours from the moment you danced with my baby in the middle of the ocean.”

The woman in front of us turns into a horror film villain, rotating in her chair and burning a shade of red only found in Hades. “Will. You. Two. Shut. Up?!”

“Zip it,” Charlie smarts loud enough to make her jump. “Pay more attention to the kids on stage and less on what we’re doing, then maybe you wouldn’t be so fuckin’ miserable. Jesus.”

I clap my hands over my mouth and flop back in my seat, snickering and whimpering. Laughing and weeping. Tears settle in my lashes, and my heart throbs.

With love.

With fear.

With anticipation for the lifetime laid out ahead of us.

With dread, in case he changes his mind. Or worse, if Mia hits her teenage years and thinks of me the way I thought about my mother.

“Relax.” He drapes his arm over my shoulders and tugs me closer. But then his smile spreads wide, his focus solely pointed stage left. “There she is.” He waves toward a terrified Mia, her little head poking into view. “See how I’m being super positive and happy? No anxiety. No fear.”