Page 95 of Dancing in the Dark

And there goes my heart, finding a speed twice as fast as the last high setting. “Would you like me to get out? I could sleep on the couch or⁠—”

“No, silly. I wanna sleep wif you, too.” She uses my hip as a handhold and clambers up onto the mattress. Turning a circle, similarly to how cats do it before finding their comfy spot, she plops down on her side and backs up until her butt hits my hip. “You have to be my big spoon, Fifi.” She yanks my hand across and drags me to my side.

Without my brain consciously commanding my limbs to move, my legs come up and cup hers, and my nose goes instinctively to her fragrant hair.

“See?” She exhales a long sigh of contentment and trails her fingertips along my forearm. “Comfy, right?”

“Mmhm.” So, so friggin’ comfy. “Are you sure you want me to be your big spoon? I bet your dad does it better. I wouldn’t mind if you wanted me to go to the living room.”

“I wanna snuggle wif you.” She reaffirms her grip on my arm and hums. “Did you know I’m the big spoon for my Care Bears?” She turns her face toward the ceiling. “I ‘specially snuggle my red Care Bear, cos that’s the one you gave me.”

“Really?” I bury my nose in the warm hollow of her neck. “You like that one the most?”

“I like them all. And red isn’t even my favorite color.”

“It isn’t?”

She shakes her head. “But the red Care Bear is my favorite, cos I missed you.”

“You missed me? When?”

“After we went on the boat for Uncle Archer and Aunty Minka’s party.” Changing her mind, she twists under the covers and faces me instead, her pointy little knees resting against my belly. “Do you remember the party on the boat?” she whispers. “You danced wif me.”

“Yeah.” I breathe her in, my emotions vacillating from ‘grab on and squeeze her tight, because it feels so damn good,’ to ‘don’t get too close, Sera. It’ll hurt more when you lose her again.’ “I remember dancing with you on the boat. It was a really special time for me.”

She drags gently stroking fingers over my jaw and along the column of my neck. “I missed you after that, cos then you didn’t visit me as much anymore.”

Because your mom came back. And then your dad shattered my heart.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come around very much.”

She shrugs. “But then my daddy came inside wif the red Care Bear and said it was a present from you.” She tilts back and peers up at me in the dark. “He said it was a just because present, and when I asked just because why? he said you knew how much I loved hugs, so you gave me the bear so I could hug it and it would feel like I was hugging you.”

She’s so perfect. So innocent. So friggin’ sweet.

“We should go back to sleep now, huh?” She burrows in, resting her chin near my clavicle and her head beneath my jaw. Her hair tickles my skin, and her breath warms me all over. Best of all, she drapes her arm over my waist and exhales a noisy sigh. “Hey, Fifi?”

“Yeah?” My voice crackles on that one word. The things this baby girl does to my heart are a sweet agony, because she’s not actually mine, and I already know the pain of not coming around much anymore. Swallowing, I lay my arm over hers and trail my fingertips over her back where her pyjama shirt has ridden up. “What’s up?”

“I love you.” She smacks a fast kiss against my neck and snuggles in. “All the way to the stars and back. Mrs. Greene said the stars are a trillion miles away.” She slips her hand under my top and presses her palm to my bare spine. “Do you know how many is a trillion?”

Emotion balls devastatingly thick in my throat. “No, I don’t.”

“It’s a lot! Like, even more than all the Monopoly moneys ever.” She exhales a happy sigh. “Goodnight, Fifi. I love you.”

36

FLETCH

Tonight’s the night. Be at Opulus at 9 pm. Payment’s yours as soon as you walk through the door.

“You should come by the house for dinner tonight.” Arch hunches over his desk, shoulders slumped and his eyes sneaking across to the phone I lock and set down again. “We’ll invite Tim and Aubs, too. Pretty sure Doctor Raquel invited herself. Bring Fifi, and we could grill something by the pool.”

“Can’t. I’m busy.” I pick up my pen and stare down at the forms I’m tempted to shove straight up Anderson’s asshole. “And Sera’s got something on, too.”

Sitting back with a huff, he snags a mostly empty can of Pepsi and takes a sip. “Busy doing what?”

“I dunno. And I’m trying not to show my ass more than necessary, which means asking her where she’s going and when she’ll be home feels a little too controlling for a relationship that’s still so new.” I meet his eyes. “You demanding to know where she’s going and when she’ll be back is even weirder.”