Page 24 of The Surfer

8

COVE

What isthis American girl on about?

Meeting up tomorrow morning at six?

Taking surfing lessons together?

Is she actually being serious?

What the actual fuck?

That American girl thinks she can humiliate me?

Who does she think she is?

I’m so pissed off by this strange little geeky girl and her early morning demands that by the time I drive over to Tide, New Water’s top nightclub, and stand outside its main doors, I decide to call my cousin. I know he’ll be the only one who can understand me, the only one who’ll understand the ridiculous situation I’ve been put in. He knows my family.

He’s the only person who can talk to me with any respect.

“Cliff Finn you bastard!” I shout down the phone when he picks up. “What’s going on?”

“Cove?” Cliff has a silky-smooth voice and I’ve always reckoned he should work in radio. No wonder he charms all the babes around the world with his deep and lusty tones. “My playboy cousin, is that really you? You’re calling me nice and early.”

“Well, it’s evening here,” I reply, looking at the nightclub. I’ve got a sudden urge for a drink, particularly a strong one. “Nice and early for you? So, where are you this time?”

I can practically hear Cliff smugly smiling down the line. “London, my friend. The city of royalty. I’m having an absolute blast of a time over here, Cove,” my cousin barks at me and I chuckle along with him. Cliff always made me laugh, even in the worst of times. “What’s going on at your end? You should come over here, mate. The champagne here is flowing and the girls go absolutely crazy for an Aussie accent, they all think we’re Crocodile Dundee! I’m drowning in a sea of pussy here.”

“Well, I’m actually in a bit of a sticky situation here myself, Cliff,” I say. “And not the good pussy kind you seem to find yourself in.”

Here goes.

Time to tell him. I close my eyes, cringing at the thought of today’s events.

“Go on, Cove, what have you got yourself in this time?”

“Ah, it’s my sister and Dad, they’ve gone mental this time, and I mean proper mental. Not just the usual crazy, but full-on psycho. They think I need help or something. Trust me, they’ve really got it in for me this time.”

“Why? What’s happened?”

“Right, so they’ve got this chick, some American chick - one of Sandy’s friends or something - to fly over and stay with us, and I’m meant to actually spend time with her. They actually want me to spend time with her, can you believe that?”

“Well, you know what I’ll say to that, how there’s only one important question. Is she hot?”

I shake my head in disgust, even though I know Cliff can’t actually see me right now. “Let’s just say she’s not my usual type, that’s for sure. She’s essentially a geek, Cliff. She looks around the place so wide-eyed I’m worried she might trip over her own stupidity, and I don’t think she’s ever stepped a foot outside of Queens. She probably thinks she’s in New Zealand or something.”

My cousin laughs down the phone at my little joke. Damn, it’s good to have an actual decent conversation with someone for once and not have them lecture you. All my Dad and sister want to do is tell me how wrong I am in every facet of my life, at least with Cliff I can just be my usual jokey self.

“Damn. Sucks for you, dude.”

“Yeah, and the worst thing is that she wants me to take surfing lessons. The girl wants us to spend time together, like, actual time. Like she’s my therapist or something. Sandy told me she’s here for six whole fucking months, can you believe that?”

Cliff again laughs down the phone, and this time he’s laughing at me. I cringe hard again. “Surfing? You haven’t been surfing since the accident.”

“I know.”

“And she wants you to do it? That’s pretty bold of her.”