Page 78 of The Surfer

That'll get her attention.

It’s the only way. I have to prove myself.

Message sent, I throw my phone down in the sand, strip off my shirt so that I’m only in my board shorts, pick up my surfboard, and head directly into the ocean.

The freezing cold water doesn’t affect me, and the roaring waves don’t stop me as I walk out into the ocean. When it’s too deep for me to continue I jump on my surfboard, paddling even further out into the water. Further and further out. Further out into the ocean than I have any time with Ripley. I haven’t been this far out in water since that fateful surf competition a year ago. I’m far out enough I can swim with wild dolphins.

I wait for the first big wave to come, any wave as long as it’s tall enough to ride. I’m not patient at all, I need to do this now. I need to prove myself now. To myself. To Ripley.

I want Ripley to know that she’s changed me, prove to her that she has made me a better man, that she has my heart completely and utterly in her hands. I want to prove to her I can do what she wants me to do and embrace my fears.

Be a surfer again.

Be her surfer boy.

I want her to know that.

The first wave comes, and I calmly accept it, pushing myself into the way of the wall of water. The wave picks me up with it and brings me to its foaming crest. I balance myself on the board, just like I’d done thousands of times before. I’ve done this thousands of times since I was a kid. This is completely natural to me.

I am a surfer.

I wait for the perfect moment to push myself up from the board.

And then I am standing.

Standing.

See? You can do this!

I am surfing again.

I’m finally proving it to myself, finally proving it to Ripley, that I really am a surfer, that I have nothing to fear. I just want her to see this. See that she’s done this. In the last few weeks, she’s given me hope. She’s given me a reason to live again. All those months wasted over the past year feeling sorry for myself, it had to take Ripley from Queens to bring me out of my shell and embrace who I really am. I owe it all to her.

I am actually surfing!

But then pain ricochets down my scarred legs. Memories of all the surgeries fill my head in one violent burst. I can’t hold myself up on the board anymore.

Fuck.

I lose my balance, then I feel myself flipping off.

No!

I am falling, falling back into the ocean. I lose all feeling.

And everything goes dark.