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“I do.” I also do not.

“How long did you babysit them for?” Carina asked when we moved outside to watch Brady splash in the kiddie pool. She nursed Isabel, covering the baby from the sunshine.

“Hmm, about two years? Since Rory was born.” I shook my head, knowing Brady was listening to Wren and Paloma, not me at the moment. “I do miss them in the sense that I feel bad for them. Mrs. Richards just didn’t care to be a mother and it was so sad.”

“I bet you don’t miss her always taking advantage of you, though,” Mila said.

“Correct. I don’t miss that.” I stretched my arms over my head and leaned back on the chaise longue. “I also don’t miss going into Pickering Inc.” I huffed. “I still can’t believe that I quit without knowing it.”

Smiling at the irony, I let out a deep sigh and dared to dream a little more. That last night I’d been there, I made that mock email of a resignation just to vent. It actually sent, though, because I ended up saving it not as a draft but an email scheduled to go out later. At the time, I had been checking the scheduling of something else for a coworker, and it had made the delivery of that email instead.

“Maybe you were manifesting your life changing,” Elena said. She cringed. “Not that you’d want anyone to come after you because of that video, but, well, I think you know what I mean.”

I nodded. “I do. And I like that interpretation. It was an accidental manifestation of not wanting to work there anymore. To be with Brady.” I smiled at her.

If it could only be that simple.

To think and dream of something and make it happen.

Because if anyone were to ask me what I’d manifest now…

I felt like I already had it. I had all that I could wish for. A strong, sexy man who’d want to worship my body. A stable, patient guy who’d be so good with my son. As I looked at all these women, I couldn’t help but feel like I was still dreaming. They were quickly becoming friends, not mere acquaintances. Paloma was more than a housekeeper or maid, like a surrogate godmother.

If I had to take a chance on wishing for anything, it would be to stay right here. Like this. With Nikolai and all the Volkovs.

Because I’m not sure I could ever go back to what I had before.

Hating my job that didn’t fulfill me.

Going in for long shifts and being away from my son.

Being taken advantage of by a heartless, selfish woman.

Surrounded by misogynistic coworkers.

Worrying about bills and everything like that. I mentioned that I had bills to pay the other day, and Nikolai corrected me that I did not.

“I made arrangements,” he said when we lay in bed the other night.

He’d asked me about what I did that day while he was working, and I filled him in on all that Brady and I had done with Paloma, too. It served as a reminder that before, I used to work all the time and the reason was to provide for my son on my own and also pay back the mountain of debt.

“I think I need to earn a living again,” I said.

He pressed me against him. “Are you telling me that I don’t give you everything you need or want here?”

I smiled. “You do. But I need a job.”

“You have one.”

“As something other than your fuck toy.”

He kissed me long and deep. “You are much more than that, sweetheart.”

My heart swelled. “All right, but I meant that I need a job. A real one. It’s like a vacation being here, but if it’s not forever, then I need to go back to working someday.”

“You have a job,” he repeated. “Being a mother to Brady.”

I sighed, loving the sound of that. If only that was all I had to do. “No, I mean to make money. To pay off my bills.”