Page 5 of And It’s Still You

Daddy smacked his lips and side-eyed me while screwing in something. “Don’t come out here acting like that now, Moya. You can go home with all that.”

“Acting like what, Daddy?”

“Like my grandson has to thank me for anything. You know everything I do is for him. When I picked him up, he told me he wanted a jungle gym like the one he has at school, so we went and got it.”

My eyes almost bulged out my head. “Are you serious? This wasn’t something that was planned? You just did it because he wanted it?”

“Is that a problem?”

“Not at all.” I walked over to the man who was my first love in the world and kissed his sweaty forehead. “Thank you, Daddy. Do you want me to help?”

He stopped and gave me a look that had me cackling. “What I need for you to do is act like you got some sense. Coming out here with all these crazy questions. Work must’ve been hard on you today, huh?”

“You don’t even know the half. I was thinking about taking a week off and taking Ocean to the beach, but his father beat me to the punch.”

“Well, why don’t you go with them?”

I tossed my arms in the air. “Now who’s the one asking crazy questions?”

Daddy chuckled and paused what he was doing. He glanced over at Ocean who didn’t hesitate to excuse himself. I wanted to walk away with him but knew better than to agitate Daddy anymore. With him being the sole parent to raise me and Albany, I knew him better than anyone. He was about to give me a lecture, one I didn’t want to hear but had no choice.

“O’Shea told me he offered for you to go with them, but you declined. I don’t think it’s a bad idea, Moya.”

“Of course, you don’t. You’ve always been Team Shea when it comes to us.”

Daddy rose to his feet and stood in front of me. For him to be in his mid-sixties, he was still as handsome as ever. We shared the medium hue of brown to our skin and oversized lips. He sported a salt-and-pepper beard that matched his low curls on top of his head. His slim build was what had me and Albany ready to snap on all the women who hit on him, young and old. Daddy was a true catch, the full package. It was a shame my mama fumbled him.

With his hands resting on my shoulders, Daddy gazed into my eyes and explained, “Now, you know better than to say that. The only team I’ve ever been on is Team Moya, Albany, and Ocean. If it isn’t the three of you, I’m not repping it. O’Shea has been a part of our lives for a very long time. He’s the son I never had. Despite y’all getting a divorce, it didn’t stop me from loving and caring about him. He is Ocean’s father, so, of course, I’ll still have a relationship with him and talk whenever he needs. I can’t completely cut him off, not when I love him.”

Since the moment they met, Daddy and Shea clicked. Shea always used to say how Daddy was different for him but in a good way. I understood because Shea came from a line of strong, rough men. Daddy allowed Shea to just be without all the extra his family expected. I’d never want to deprive him of that, even if it did make me a little jealous.

“I understand, Daddy. I do, but that doesn’t mean I need to have any type of relationship with Shea outside of us co-parenting. As tempting as the trip sounds, I can’t risk it.”

“And I respect your decision.”

“Thank you.”

Daddy went back to working on the jungle gym, and I stood out there with him until I couldn’t stop yawning. He demanded I go home and rest before giving me some money to order me and Ocean something to eat. Back in the day, I would fuss with him and try to give the money back, but I’d learned I would never win with Cress. Ocean and I gave him love and left.

“Mommy?” Ocean called out from the back seat.

“Yes, Bubba?”

“Why won’t you go with me and Daddy to the beach? I think it’ll be fun.”

I glanced at him through the rearview mirror and sighed. Ocean was truly O’Shea’s twin. He honestly should’ve been a junior, but we fell in love with his name. Ocean’s thick, bushy brows were furrowed as he waited for me to answer.

“Because it’s a trip for you and Daddy. Y’all need your guy time in, right?”

Slowly, he nodded. “Yes, ma’am. We need family time too, right?”

“You get family time, Ocean.”

“Not with you and Daddy at the same time. I want a day like that. Just the three of us.”

I bit the corner of my lip and swallowed. How could I tell my son that would probably never happen? It could, but it would take a few years. Even then, I wasn’t positive about it. Maybe one day we could get to the point where Shea and I could be in the same room for more than five minutes without arguing.

Deep down, I knew I was the problem, which was why I chose my battles wisely. Day by day, I was learning to let go of the hurt, but it wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. One would think five years would be plenty of time to work through it. While it was, I hadn’t put in all the effort to do so. I preferred to push the pain down deep and try to forget about it.