Page 148 of Relapse

I knew it was a possibility. Noah sleeping with her wasn’t exactly shocking. It’s not like I had been his first, and we both had a massive body count. But the timing was what got to me. Knowing it happened so soon after the conversation we’d shared on his birthday still burned. “So you’ve slept with him.”

“No shit. We were dating!”

I launched into the offensive quicker than I thought I would. “So fucking what?” I snarled. “Noah never committed to you.”

Delane lunged forward, grabbing the sides of the bed frame. “That doesn’t matter! What matters is he was choosing to have sex with you!” She paused and took a breath, her voice dropping to a venomous whisper. “A rapist.”

We stayed in that silence for a moment. Delane’s breathing was heavy, her knuckles strained around the metal rail of my bedside. She looked like she was daring me to deny her conviction. I was sure she hoped the term she called me would make me feel some sort of remorse.

It didn’t.

“I’ve never raped anyone,” I said calmly. Before she could protest, I smiled coldly. “If Noah hadn’t shown up, you would have been the first.”

She wasn’t able to cover the shudder that rippled across her skin. I saw it.

“Just think of it as a compliment,” I added, studying the ceiling tiles as if they were stars. Wishing she’d be finished with her little holier-than-thou approach with me.

Delane released the side of the bed like it was hot. “You sick fuck.”

“It’s true,” I sighed, accepting her insult.

“He wants me too, you know that,” she said. “You have to know how he feels about me. What then? What lengths are you willing to go for him?”

A slow smile spread across my face. The pain was easy to ignore. Her question was not. If I wanted her gone, she needed to understand exactly what she was dealing with—how completely Noah had consumed me.

“I’d tie you up with a pretty fucking bow and dangle you in front of Noah, so he could take his fill of you, if that’s what he asked me to do.”

Her breath hitched, a flicker of horror and something else—intrigue—crossed her face. It was fast, but I caught it: her sweet, innocent little persona was actually considering what I said.

I wasn’t done. I pushed myself up, the movement sending a fresh wave of agony through my body, but I didn’t let it show.

I held her gaze, pouring every ounce of my twisted devotion into my next words: “Or, I’d cut you a thousand times if he wanted me to. And I’d listen to you scream with pleasure.”

“You’re deranged…” she whispered.

“Yeah? Well, then that should answer your question, shouldn’t it?” I rested my shoulders back against the pillow. “Those are the lengths that I’d be willing to go.”

I’d do anything for Noah, I thought to myself. Unashamedly.

She started up her pacing, yet again. She shook her head, mumbling something under her breath. I watched her with irritation. What the hell did Noah even see in this girl?

“Why are you still here?” I snapped. “What else do you want?”

She threw her hands up in the air. “I am just trying to make sense of this. Why Noah lied to me. Why he nearly got himself killed. What in the world he saw in you.”

The last part hit harder than I wanted it to. Not because I disagreed with her, but because some part of me had wondered the same thing.

I took a second before answering, choosing my next words carefully.

“Look, Noah’s message to his brother saved my life. He didn’t need to do that for me. I didn’t want him to. I would have rather he stayed out of harm’s way.”

She stopped her pacing and looked at me.

“I hate that he was hurt because of me. I’d give anything to go back and save him from that.”

The way her eyes studied me, I almost wanted to say that she believed me.

Abruptly, she asked, “Do you love him?”