Page 183 of Relapse

Noah wasn’t looking at either of us. He stared down at the sheets. Fidgeting with the covers. Chest rising and falling at an insane rate.

Silas strummed the chair with his fingers. “I guess this is good, right? We can finally hash everything out, like adults. Right, firecracker?”

The comment was directed to me. I glared daggers at him.

“Isn’t this what you wanted, Noah?” Silas suggested sarcastically. “Both of us, here with you. Both of us in your bed?”

Noah tensed. His silence tugged at my nerves.

“Is that what you want?” I asked.

Noah’s Adam’s apple did a nervous little bob in his throat.

“You couldn’t handle that,” Silas piped in, his eyes narrowed and unimpressed.

“You don’t speak for me,” I snapped.

I wasn’t sure what brought this version of me out, the bold Delane, but whatever the cost, I wanted to keep her here.

Silas raised a brow, his eyes meeting mine directly. He seemed impressed that I’d even held my own during this conversation. I didn’t know whether to be terrified or proud that I received his acknowledgement.

“Stop, this is ridiculous.” Noah was flustered, and I noticed in the sheets between us—he was rock solid, his body still primed and ready for sex even with the intrusion.

“Is it?” Silas purred, leaning himself forward. I watched Noah visibly react to that closeness, the muscles in his arms contracting, his body instinctively easing towards me. My gaze went back to Silas, almost protectively. Making sure he didn’t cross the line.

Silas licked his lips. “Or is this your desire? Maybe you want us both to fuck you. At the same time?”

My eyes shot back fast enough to watch Noah stumble on his words.

“Even if it was— even if—”

A dizzying rush of heat flooded my system. I watched Noah—my Noah—sitting there with his jaw tight and his eyes dark, and I knew then exactly what he wanted. He wanted me, and he wanted Silas.

Silas was watching too, that arrogant smirk playing at his lips like he already knew what I’d say to that. He made my skin crawl. I hated him. I hated the history between us. I hated the fact that I pitied him in the hospital, even carried him through the hall because he practically begged me too. All of that I did for him, after he left me in the dirt. Traumatized.

Noah finally looked up, this time his attention directed to silence. “What I want, and what is right are two different things. What I want doesn’t matter.”

My heart did a little flip inside. I knew I didn’t have to do what Silas had so boldly suggested.

But Noah... the way he’d inched closer, his body instinctively shielding mine, told me everything I needed to know. He wasn’t going to pressure me—he was waiting to follow my lead. He wanted permission. Maybe that was what broke me, seeing him battle with his own desire. Seeing how he acknowledged the both of us. Watching him cling to his self-control when every part of his body was screaming at him to let go.

Being here between us both was killing him. I could see that now.

I could say no, I thought, the words forming rationally in my mind.

If I had wanted, I could end this right now, get dressed, and leave. I knew Noah would protect me and honor my decision. Something Silas had never done in his life, probably.

I looked at Noah again. His hands were clenched at his sides like he was holding himself back.

Wildness rose up in me, that reckless, hungry part I’d suppressed for years. It was telling me to take what I wanted even if it came wrapped in complications. To just do it and stop holding myself back. I was already here. I was already naked in this bed.

And I wasn’t doing this for Silas. I didn’t even like Silas. Half of me thought that maybe he was just trying to bluff and get me to leave. He’d once told me that his loyalty to Noah held no bounds, and that the lengths he’d be willing to go for him outweighed everything morally right in this world.

Well, I thought. Let’s see if he was telling the truth.

Something inside me just… snapped. And I knew, as sure as I knew my own heart beating, that I would do this for Noah. I’d do anything for him.

My lips parted, and when I spoke, my voice was calm despite the chaos roaring in my chest.