Page 25 of Relapse

“You’re breathing fine,” Damian assured. I watched my chest, rising and falling, and focused on the steady feel of his palm grounding me.

Richmond observed the exchange between us with new interest. “You seem very invested, Chief.”

“He’s my brother,” Damian growled.

Richmond threw her hands into the air. “He’s also a witness in a stabbing at your family home, and we need his intel.”

At that, Damian lost it. All of his composure went out the window.

“For fuck’s sake—we all witnessed it. Take your fucking pick of the people that stood around my father as I pounded on his chest to keep him alive!”

Both cops jolted in their sets at his outburst. I continued counting breaths in my head, glad for the distraction and that the scrutiny was off of me for a second.

Damian was crouched at my side now. “Noah was at the front door when the actual suspect fled the property. Maybe you should be out there, retracing the steps, looking for any indication of someone with the mask my brother describes! You’re wasting our time, and right now, we need to be with our family.”

“We aren’t finished yet,” Richmond hissed.

Something in Damian shifted again then. No longer explosive, but suddenly controlled.

“Actually, you are,” his voice was so firm that there would be no way to have an argument.

“If you have further questions, or somehow think my brother knows more than he’s openly shared with you after a traumatic night, you can direct them to our lawyer. My brother needs to rest.”

Blake frowned. “Damian—”

“That’s Deputy Chief to you,” Damian corrected again, this time, with a snarl. “And I’m invoking Noah’s right to end this conversation.”

I blinked at him, wondering why I hadn’t just done that before. Being from a family of police officers, I knew my rights. Why had I continued to let this escalate? My head pounded.

Richmond stood, exiting the area without another word. Blake stood too, but slower, taking his time to push in his chair and place his pen and notepad in his back pocket. “We’ll be in touch,” he directed to me, “Don’t leave town.”

Like I could.

Then, just as fast as they had arrived, they disappeared around the corner and out of my line of sight.

For a second, it was just us. Embarrassment crept into my chest, and although my breathing was under control now, I was mortified that I couldn’t handle myself during such a crucial time. If I didn’t seem guilty before, I definitely did now. At least, to those two cops.

“You didn’t have to do that for me,” I whispered.

“Yes I did,” Damian said. He crouched in front of me so we were eye level. His expression softened, and it was like the badge and rank peeled away until he was just my big brother again. No more Deputy Chief. Just Damian. Or even Damy, as I used to call him.

Just looking into his eyes made mine start to water. I held the tears in like I was trained to do all my life. But I knew Damian could see it.

“You’re spiraling, Noah,” he said, his voice heavy with concern.

“I didn’t hurt him,” I breathed, finally speaking into existence what everyone was hinting at. I knew I didn’t need to convince Damian of my innocence, but part of me had to say it out loud, had to give life to the words that were hooked deep into my flesh.

Had I thought about killing him before? So many times. Less than I had thought about killing myself, but it had crossed my mind.

Had I ever acted on it? No.

“I know,” Damian assured.

But his thumb still pressed a little too hard into my shoulder.

I nodded methodically, taking a few moments to make sure the room was centered once again. Damian straightened upright, offering me his hand. I hesitated, then took it. He pulled me up from the chair like I weighed next to nothing.

“We’re going home,” he said. “And you need to try your best…to stay in the places that you’re meant to be. Home. School. Where I can reach you.”