Page 36 of Relapse

“Silas,” my voice came out thick, almost like cotton was in my mouth. “My legs … they feel off.”

As if I were wearing lenses that weren’t mine, all the outside colors started to melt into one—a sea of blue, orange, and white that was hazy and out of focus. Street signs and far away buildings felt so close that I knew I could reach out and touch them with my hands, despite the fact that they were so far away. A car ricocheted down the street and felt it in my bones, little sound waves and reverberations extending upwards into my fingertips. I released a little gasp at the feel of a head pressed into my shoulder, the weight of it feeling like it could break me.

How had I not noticed Silas’s approach? When I looked up, he had just morphed there, nestled into my arm and peered over my shoulder at me.

“I lied,” he confessed with a sigh. “I gave us Molly.”

I tried to speak, but nothing came out of my mouth. My lips were tingling and not working properly.

Then it hit. What Silas had done. How stupidly he looked at me, more playful than I’d ever seen him, features devoid of tension, smiling big. And then there we were, both laughing our fucking asses off.

“Ecstasy?” I hollered, grabbing at his cheeks, pulling. His hands grasped my wrists in return.

“You gave us X?” I clutched to him for support as I stumbled. “Holy fuck, we’re going to die.”

The fact that Silas willingly drugged us both, in public, for fun, was making me laugh so hard I thought I might piss myself. All worries that had previously constricted me, vanished. I looked back at the door, wondering if the bar staff would follow us out here, knowing how fucked up we were. The door seemed so far away now, more like miles than feet, and I doubted I could even walk that many steps by myself without reeling. My body slumped backward to find traction on the wall. I slid.

“Let me help,” Silas said, strong hands taking hold of my shoulders.

Famous last words.

Almost instantly we both tumbled to the ground—two clumsy idiots with no sense of equilibrium. Down we went.

Silas collapsed atop me, and there was no more world anymore. Just his face. His eyes. His heat against me.

Was the sun going up or down? Who knew?

I smiled and grabbed the back of his neck. “Fuck it. Let’s go fuck shit up.”

Chapter ten

At the Red Light

SILAS

Noah didn’t fight me anymore, and I was glad for it. My body sprawled across him in the alley heavily, and I kissed him without protest. The back of the bar was a bit exposed, but I honestly didn’t give a shit who saw us. It could have been the drugs, or maybe it was something else, but I wasn’t being careful with my feelings anymore.

I was sick and tired of staying hidden in this world. I was dynamite and Noah lit my fuse, day in and day out, and I was finished pretending that the sparks weren’t there.

Before I even realized it, we were both on our feet again, our arms haphazardly slung over each other’s shoulders to keep us steady and upright. We stumbled forward in tandem.

I leaned in closer to his face than I should have, my depth perception blurring the actual distance between us. I couldn’t quite tell how far away he was from me, but knew immediately when my mouth grazed the outer shell of his ear, that we were closer than I assumed.

“Let me call my driver,” I said, taking a moment to pronounce each word carefully so that Noah understood. It would be easier that way if we had someone to take us where we needed to go. Pinnacle wasn’t far, but with how I was feeling, I didn’t want to make the trek by foot. I doubted Noah did either.

“Call him,” he said with a chuckle, confirming my initial thought.

Unrecognizable faces passed us as we moved in a crooked rhythm down the street. I tried my best to seem subtle, but I could tell by the murmurs that we were drawing attention to ourselves. The roads were uneven and hard to navigate. Noah’s body felt heavy on my shoulder.

Noah had tried saying something to me aloud but I couldn’t make it out. The words that flowed from his mouth were getting more difficult to understand. The sound didn’t always match with the movement of his lips and the disconnection was throwing me off. I nodded, unsure of what I was agreeing to, and aimed to find a place for us to sit down.

Somehow, we ended up in front of a food truck, the harsh light from inside spilling down and into my eyes. The smells assaulted my nose, but not in a bad way. I glanced at Noah—he was fighting with his phone, muttering curses about his Cash app not working.

I laughed and reached into my pocket to pay instead, but before I could even manage to get the money out, a voice from inside the truck rang out around me.

“Mr. Thorne? Silas?”

The man inside the truck leaned out far enough from the small service window that I could see the whites of his widened eyes. There was recognition in his face.