Page 61 of Relapse

Page List
Font Size:

His eyes widened slightly in response, and he froze, his hand still cupping my face. The air seemed to grow thick with words unspoken. For a split second, I thought Noah might say the words first, that he might finish the sentence I couldn’t.

But then he blinked and the moment was gone. Lost.

Noah pressed a quick kiss to my lips instead, his hands leaving my face afterwards. “The water is starting to get cold,” he said swiftly, turning from me to finish cleaning his body.

I couldn’t shake the feeling that something fundamental had shifted between us. I knew for a fact that something was different within me. I couldn’t quite get there, verbally, but I knew. I wasn’t going to deny the feelings anymore. Or pretend that I couldn’t name them.

With a certainty that both thrilled and terrified me, it was only a matter of time before those three words would finally be spoken aloud.

Chapter sixteen

What the Walls Hide

NOAH

Ileft the shower first, being quick about rinsing and drying my body so I could get the hell out of there and breathe.

I enjoyed myself of course, but towards the end there, when we had finished, Silas had seemed like he was going to say something huge.

Something that might have changed everything.

I saw it in his eyes. That “more” I was fearing in his office. It was there, hidden behind his shaky breath and stuttered pause while we were in the shower. Lingering just behind his steel colored eyes.

It scared me so much. Because I couldn’t do it. I could never be what Silas saw just then, in that moment. There was no future where that could be my reality. I wasn’t made for that kind of …feeling.

Trying my best to put it out of my head, I scoured the room for clean clothes. I helped myself through Silas’s drawers to find boxers and a clean t-shirt. He wouldn’t care, so might as well.

I continued analyzing his bedroom as I slipped the shirt on. I noticed how cluttered it was—papers and important-looking envelopes coated the floor in layers. I had never really walked through Silas’s room before. Though the thought was pretty shameful, the only piece of furniture I’d ever touched was the bed.

I let my hand trail along a computer desk, lightly brushing some dusty photos with my fingers. Most of them were of Silas and Serenity. One was of a man I had never seen before.

I assumed it was Silas’s birth father.

I never knew the story of his father’s death. Silas had been raised by his uncle for the longest time, and there wasn’t much more to it than that. At least, not that he ever shared publicly.

A color sticking out slightly from an open drawer caught my eye unexpectedly.

It didn’t look important—white, plain, just like the rest of the room.

But the shape was familiar. I was drawn to it and I didn’t understand why.

I reached past the mess on the desk, grabbing the object between my thumb and forefinger, pulling it up and into view. I turned it over in my hands to analyze it further.

It was a mask. A white mask resembling a skull.

No.

Wait.

Back up.

At that same moment, Silas stepped out of the bathroom. His towel was wrapped loosely around his waist.

Noticing how I hovered over his desk he asked, “You were going through my things?”

When I didn’t answer right away, he began a slow saunter across the room towards where I stood.

My face felt hot. I turned the mask towards him, taking in an unsteady breath. “What is this?”