Page 60 of Summer Affair

“I don’t want anyone else, I only want you. Not because of what you can or can’t give me in the future, but because I love you. We can find other ways to build a family if that’s what we decide we want down the road. But right now, all I care about is you.” His eyes searched hers.

She turned away, unable to face the depth of his love and the raw pain in her heart as his eyes pleaded with her.

“I can’t ask you to stay with me out of pity. It’s not fair to either of us,” she said, trying a different tactic.

“Don’t do this,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “Don’t push me away because you’re scared. We can figure this out together. Please.”

Hearing the desperation in his voice had her resolve wavering, and for a moment, she almost reached out to him. But the fear and self-doubt were too strong. “I’m sorry,” she said, avoiding his gaze this time. She had to be strong. Stronger than she’d ever been. This was the right thing to do. It had to be because, well, it felt so painful.

He looked at her for a long moment, then nodded slowly, the light in his eyes dimming. “If that’s what you want. But remember, I’m here for you, no matter what. I won’t give up on you, on us.”

As he turned to leave, she almost called out to him, but she forced herself to remain still. She watched him walk away, feeling like she was shattering into a million pieces. The pain of pushing him away was excruciating, but she believed it was the right thing to do.

She walked inside and collapsed onto the sofa, tears streaming down her face, her heart breaking with every breath she took without him in her life. What now? Why did she bother going on? Could she, without him?

The room felt emptier without him, the silence almost deafening. Everything felt darker without the love and warmth that he always brought into her home. She curled up into a ball, sobs wracking her body as the reality of her decision set in. She was pushing away the one person who truly cared for her, all because of her fear and insecurity. The weight of her grief felt unbearable, and she cried until exhaustion overtook her, pulling her into a restless sleep.

A couple days later, even though she felt hollow and numb, she knew it was time to move forward. Despite her mental and emotional pain, and reluctance, she decided it was time to go back to work.

When she walked into River Camps, the familiar sights and sounds felt soothing. It was like a fresh breath of air after the foul stench that had been her life over the past week.

When she stepped into the pool house, Kara spotted her immediately and rushed over, enveloping her in a warm hug.

“I’m so sorry,” Kara said softly, holding her a little longer than usual. “How are you holding up?”

“I’m okay, just taking things one day at a time.” She mustered a small smile.

“If you need anything, just let me know. We’re all here for you,” Kara added.

They talked for a while, catching up and easing Andrea back into the rhythm of work. Her first two clients of the day were easy enough, and she was thankful to have something to occupy her mind.

Just as she started to feel a semblance of normalcy, her phone buzzed on her first break of the day. It was her sister. She thought for a moment about not answering it. But she knew that if she didn’t respond soon, her mother would call her.

It was better to deal with it now. Her gut twisted as she answered the call and stepped into the back room.

“Hey.” Andrea answered the call on the fourth ring, trying to keep her voice steady.

“Andrea! I thought you’d never answer,” Amy chirped cheerfully.

“I’m at work,” she replied as she sat down.

“Oh, good. I was hoping you could pull those strings there again and get me on the schedule so you can throw me a baby shower in a few weeks. I’m trying to get the invitations together and figured it was the perfect place for the party,” Amy replied.

Andrea’s heart sank. “I’ll think about it.”

“You’ll think about it?” Amy said, her tone sharp. “What’s there to think about? I’m having a baby. You simply must throw your sister and your nephew or niece a party.” Andrea’s stomach turned. “Mom’s simply too busy with work right now to throw the party, so it falls on you.” She laughed. “We’ll help out, of course, since I have so many plans, but it just won’t do if I throw it myself. That’s not how things are done.”

“Isn’t it a little early to be throwing a party?” Andrea asked, thinking back to how quickly she’d lost her baby all those years ago. After all, Amy was probably only a few weeks pregnant. Right?

“No, I’m fourteen weeks along. We’ve already found out the sex. I’m just waiting for the party to tell everyone. Which reminds me, the shower will have to be a gender reveal as well,” she added. “I don’t know the sex yet but my friend Heather knows.”

Fourteen weeks? Andrea mentally tried to count back to what was going on all those weeks ago and couldn’t. She’d even lost track of how long she and Dean had been seeing one another.

“Why can’t she throw you the party?” Andrea asked, closing her eyes. “I’m busy at work too.”

“Because you have connections at the camp,” her sister whined. “Besides, you owe me. Just schedule it for the Saturday after next. We’ll do the rest. I promise. Gotta go, thanks, sis.” Amy hung up.

After that, the rest of the day passed in a blur. She threw herself into her work, avoiding any thoughts of Dean. Thankfully, she managed to keep busy enough to push most of the pain aside, though it was always there, lurking beneath the surface.