Page 29 of While I’m Still Here

“I'm not asking you for six months.” His thumb moves slowly over the side of my hand. “I'm not asking you for next year either. I'm not asking you for anything. Yesterday you found out you have cancer. Last night I told you something I should've told you years ago. Then we slept together because we both wanted to…” He pauses. “That's all it has to be today.”

Something uncomfortable squeezes behind my ribs. “And tomorrow?”

Colin shrugs. “We'll see tomorrow.”

I narrow my eyes at him.

“What?”

“That sounded suspiciously emotionally healthy.”

“I've been working on myself.”

“Disgusting,” I spit.

“I know.”

I look down at our joined hands. “So technically you're not my boyfriend?”

“Technically, apparently not.”

“Good.”

“Good,” he agrees.

Silence.

I glance at him and his mouth has turned down slightly.

“You look disappointed.”

“I've waited seven years, Bea. I think I can survive another twenty-four hours.”

“Very mature.”

“I'm devastated.”

I laugh, and because apparently this is something I'm allowed to do now, I lean over and kiss him.

Just once.

It’s soft and sleepy, and I have to resist the urge to sigh into his mouth. Morning breath and all. When I pull away, Colin is smiling.

It's disgustingly sweet.

“Stop that.”

His eyebrows rise. “Stop what?”

“Looking pleased with yourself.”

“I am pleased with myself.”

“You shouldn't be.”

“I woke up naked next to the woman I've been in love with for seven years.”

I stare at him. “Fine. You can have five minutes.”