Page 43 of Not the Punk

Fighting, flying, until the dark is gone

Every time you want to be around

you think you wanna leave me

walk away—

I hated that verse and wasn’t sure where it was going. I drew lines through the words, only keeping the first two lines that felt like the chorus, but maybe not. That’s how it went sometimes. I wanted to capture how Colten made me feel safer and in control. I wanted to share something about him being a firefighter and doing good for his community and the world, but none of it was coming to me.

I took a deep breath and focused on the feelings instead of the words. Closing my eyes, I did my breathing technique usually reserved for panic attacks. But I needed my brain quiet and knew it would help.

After a few minutes, I started again.

Holding on to me, you keep the world at bay

I can hold up my head with my hand in yours

Well, it was a start.

Chapter twenty

Colten Keep Digging

Who was the arsonist? Was this connected to Joe’s Ex? Something nagged at me that it was, but I had no proof. I only knew that Joe was in danger, and I needed to do all I could to figure it out. I mulled it over on the way to the firehouse to grab some of my stuff.

The Fire Chief walked up beside me as I arrived. “Colten. Come to my office. I want you to meet with the State Fire Marshal, Nelson Wilson.”

“Yes, sir.” I followed him through the station house and to his office in the back. Nelson shook my hand, then we all sat around the Chief’s desk.

“I’m going to get to the point, Colten.” Chief gave me that serious look he always had when he was sharing important information with the team. “The FBI got a hold of us about some phone calls. Apparently, you know something about this. What’s going on?”

I gave them the short version, still running through everything I knew.

“And you think this guy who rigged the fire is the same guy harassing your boyfriend?” Nelson asked.

“I don’t know. You say you caught someone?” That was incredibly fast, leaving me suspicious.

“We did.”

“I’d like to talk to the guy. Maybe I can suss out what’s going on.”

“That’s why I’m here. I think it’d be a good idea, and I’d like to go now.”

I stood. “Lead the way.”

The guy was not Trent Koehn. I’d seen a few pictures that Joe still had and had a quick glimpse or two of him, and this guy didn’t match up. He was older and kind of grisly, while Trent was around the same age as Joe and polished. I felt disappointed almost immediately, but there had to be a connection.

I pulled out a chair and sat in front of him. “You pulled off this stunt, huh?”

He looked at me hard, eyes going wide. “Guess not, if you’re still alive.”

“Me? You were specifically after me?”

He sucked his lips into his mouth.

“Dude. You’re going down for this, no matter what. You might as well help yourself out.”

“How?”