Page 2 of No Love 2

“You can, though, because I don’t have shit to hide. Obviously you do.”

“Now you know damn well I always keep it real. I ain’t never had a reason to lie about shit.”

“But you were texting that girl's mama yesterday asking if she could have her daughter call you?”

“How the fuck you know that, Naz? I know damn well you didn’t go through my phone.”

The guilty look on her face gave her away.

“Mannn, you getting beside yourself. Where you get off invading my privacy like that? That ain’t never been how we moved.”

“Don’t do that, Ali, cause we both know that shit has been a lot different with us since I got home. So forgive me for getting in my feelings and doing shit I’ve never done before. But it’s not like I’m the only one.”

She had me there. I stopped glaring at her and I allowed my body to relax.

“Alright, you not wrong about that. We have both gotten beside ourselves, so let's hit the reset button. You and I are friends. If you been going through my phone then I’m sure you know that we’re not exclusive cause I’m still fucking with other women. Therefore, our actions should reflect that…so we gon chill on all that extra shit we been doing.”

Her face went flat like a pancake. “Ali, what?”

“I was clear, Nazaria.”

“But I’m trying to see where all this is coming from all of a sudden. We’ve been doing good and haven’t had any problems, but since ole girl then hit your phone with lies you’re in your feelings. Yea, you definitely drinking the Kool-aid, but that’s on you.”

“How would you know what’s a lie or not?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you gave me a full rundown of your situation with the bitch.”

“Why she gotta be a bitch?”

“Yeaaa,” she laughed bitterly. “So what’s up, for real? All that hard shit you popped is fake and you believe her baby is yours even though she got a nigga?”

“Man look, I really don’t have to explain shit to you or nobody else, but I will tell you this much…I never used a condom with that girl once. I never attempted to pull out either. If she is pregnant then there’s a high chance that she’s carrying my baby. I’ll never be a deadbeat, so I’m going to take care of my child and make sure my babymama is straight. All that hard shit I’ve been popping will be a wrap because I’m not going to disrespect the mother of my child regardless of what she’s done. Neither will you or anybody else in my life.”

For a split second I saw a glint of sadness in her eyes, but she quickly recovered and held a neutral expression. I didn’t know what was on her mind until she pressed her body back into mine.

“You know I’ve always been a real bitch, Ali, so I have no choice but to respect everything you just said. I know you’d never be a deadbeat because I’ve watched you take care of your brothers and sisters since you were a child yourself. I’ve never come between you handling your responsibilities and I’m not going to start now. Nothing has to change between us because of that…unless you just don’t want to fuck with me no more. If that’s the case then just say that, don’t make it seem like I have an issue with you being a father.”

“I’m not making it seem like nothing, Naz,” I sighed. “You the one keep saying slick, indirect shit about Lourdes. You going through my phone and shit, violating my privacy. Before shit escalates I’d rather put space between us.”

“That’s not necessary though. I was dead wrong for answering and going through your phone so I apologize for that. And I have been petty towards Lourdes, but I was feeding off of your energy. I thought you didn’t fuck with her at all and that it wasn’t a possibility that she could really be pregnant by you. Now that you’ve told me otherwise I know to chill. All you had to do was communicate with me, Ali. When have I not been understanding?”

“Alright, Naz, you got that.”

Naz had never kicked up drama in my life and the only reason she knew so much about Lourdes was because of me. I couldn’t blame her for having animosity towards Lourdes when she only felt a way on my behalf. She probably thought she was just being a good friend and riding for me. But it was about time for her to put the pitchforks down if she wanted to remain in my life. My daughter was going to be raised in peace and tranquility. All I needed to do was get in contact with her hoe ass mama.

Chapter 2

Lourdes Craige

“This little belly is tripping me out, Lo-Lo Pop,” my Granny reached out and rubbed my exposed bump. When I found out I was pregnant a month ago I had no belly to show for it even though I was four months. It was now late September, I was five months along, and my belly had seemingly grown overnight. It was far from big, but it was obvious I was pregnant. I hadn’t announced it to the world yet, but my family and friends knew because I couldn’t hide it. However, I had told my mom the news before I started showing. Actually, I confirmed the news for her.

“That belly grew overnight,” my mom said. “And she obviously couldn’t wait cause she can’t stop showing it off.”

I laughed because I had been purposely showing off my small bump. I lived for the way Rihanna didn’t hide her belly during her first pregnancy. I wanted to own my pregnancy the same way. Today I was casually cute in a white graphic crop top that said “Pink Princess” with pink yoga pants and Hello Kitty crocs. My grandma had cooked Sunday dinner, so she had a revolving door of family coming and going. She had made more than enough food to go around. I had already eaten twice and she made me two to-go plates.

“Ain’t nothing wrong with that,” my Granny smiled. “Having a baby is a blessing. She should be proud and eager to show it off.” She was speaking in a code that only me and my mom understood.

I swore up and down I was getting an abortion after Armias outright denied the baby. After blocking him on everything, I booked a flight to LA and a lavish, high rise apartment on Airbnb. I felt strong and secure in my decision until it was time to look up clinics and book the actual appointment to get the abortion. I broke down crying and I didn’t stop for hours. I was so conflicted. Before Armias gave me his ass to kiss, I wanted my baby girl. Being a girl mom was something I always wanted for myself. God was blessing me with a daughter for my first pregnancy and that was no coincidence. However, I knew what it felt like growing up without a dad and feeling unwanted. I didn’t want that for my daughter. I also didn’t want to go through my first pregnancy alone. I wanted to be loved, supported, and dotted on. I wasn’t going to get any of that from the man who impregnated me, so I had to decide if that was something I could handle. I spent days crying and feeling sorry for myself just to find out that Armias had apparently had a change of heart. He reached out to my mom and put all my business on front street.