Page 3 of No Love 2

Hey Ms. Lucia, tell your daughter to unblock me and call me when she gets a chance. It’s important.

Hey baby, I’m just seeing this. I will let her know. In the meantime tell your miserable ass mammy to stop talking shit about my child on Facebook unless she’s ready to fight about it.

I’m not on Facebook to know anything about that, but if it’s true then I apologize. At the end of the day we’re going to be family, so there’ll be no fighting or drama. My baby don’t deserve that.

Boy, what the hell are you talking about?

You ain’t know? Lourdes claimed that she’s pregnant with my daughter. I would hope she’s not lying about nothing like that. I know we did more than enough for it to be true. So have her call me asap. Idk why she would block me in the first place as if we don’t have a lot to figure out.

My heart dropped into my ass when my mom called me and relayed that entire conversation to me through tears. I confirmed that I was indeed pregnant, but I also let her know that I was heavily considering an abortion. My mom had always been pro-choice and she urged me to take my time when it came to having kids. She was always vocal about not wanting me to be a single mom like her. So I was surprised when she grew more hysterical when I mentioned an abortion. She told me straight up that she felt like I’d be going against God’s will if I got rid of my baby girl. She had an excuse for all of my reservations.

“Mama, I don’t want to get an abortion but I don’t like the way Armias handled me over the phone. He denied the baby flat out and I don’t want to subject an innocent child to that.”

“I hear you, Lo, but clearly he was just mad and saying anything when you told him a few days ago. Try to keep in mind that y’all ended on bad terms because of your bullshit hitting the fan.”

I smacked my teeth. “It’s not like he’s innocent. The woman who answered his phone told me that much. We were both keeping secrets, but he’s acting like I did him so wrong.”

“Lourdes, I don’t know what’s going on with y’all relationship…but don’t kill an innocent baby because of it.”

“Since when are you against abortion?”

“Since I found out you were pregnant and far along enough to know what you’re having. Getting rid of that baby now would be cruel, Lo-Lo. Don’t do it.”

“I wasn’t going to do it, but this whole situation is ghetto and not how I imagined my first pregnancy. I want to feel loved and supported.”

“And you’ll have that from your family.”

“I know, but I want it from the person who got me pregnant, too.”

“Lo, Armias is asking for you to unblock him. Clearly he wants to be by your side and do his part. Don’t let his initial reaction make you do something you won’t be able to take back.”

“But mama he played me in front of his long time girlfriend I didn’t even know he had,” my voice cracked. I wasn’t saying it out loud, but Naz was one of the biggest reasons I was contemplating an abortion. Armias having a change of heart and wanting to be a part of the baby’s life was all fine and dandy, but if he had a woman he wouldn’t be able to be there in the way I wanted him to be. He wouldn’t be able to rub my back, give me foot massages, kiss on my belly, or anything else that was too intimate because it would be inappropriate. At the very most he’d probably come to doctor’s appointments and bring me some food if I was hungry. If he had a bitch he’d have to consider her feelings and respect her, so I’d get the short end of the stick. And it wouldn’t stop at my pregnancy. He wouldn’t be able to be there for me fully once the baby was born either. It wasn’t like he was about to be at my house every night helping with the baby while he had a woman at home. Even if he disregarded her feelings and moved how he wanted to, I wouldn’t allow that. The lines would get blurred and I’d delusionally think we were a real family. Then I’d be in my feelings whenever he went home to his woman. I knew the only way to spare myself was to get an abortion…but then I’d have to deal with the guilt and regret of that. It was all too much and that’s why I couldn’t stop crying.

“I’m sorry that happened, baby, but please…don’t kill my granddaughter. This hurt you’re feeling right now is temporary, but an abortion is permanent. Just keep thinking about it. In the meantime, I’ma come over and cook for you. What do you have a taste for?”

Not only did my mom come over on that day but she brought my Granny with her after telling her my damn business. That was strategic on her part because nobody could guilt me like my Granny. They cooked my favorite meal; mashed potatoes, crispy baked chicken, cabbage, and corn bread while casually discussing the baby as if I’d announced I was keeping it. From that day on they built some sort of routine where they’d come by my house a few times a week to cook, clean, and wait on me hand and foot. My grandma sent me multiple bible verses and memes about motherhood every single day. Then my mom had the audacity to set a date and book a hall for my baby shower. Needless to say, they had successfully convinced me to keep my daughter. They were showing me that I’d be supported regardless of if I had a traditional two parent household or not.

“I still can’t believe my baby is having a baby,” my mom smiled at me with more pride than she ever had in her life. I can’t believe I really thought she’d be disappointed with the circumstances of my pregnancy. It was apparent that she could care less because she never brought up Armias to me after that conversation where I confirmed my pregnancy to her. It probably had something to do with the fact that he was the reason I was considering an abortion in the first place. The one thing Lucia kept stressing was that I deserved to feel at peace for the remainder of my pregnancy.

“Yup, and she’s carrying so beautifully,” Auntie Luna grinned. She was my mom’s older sister by a year and Nalyssa’s mom. “That little belly is too cute. Her skin is glowing and perfectly clear. Her hair is getting longer, too. I’m surprised it’s a girl because they usually have you big and ugly.”

“Chile, don’t get me started,” my mom laughed. “My nose was as big as a bell pepper when I was pregnant with Lourdes.”

“Everything was swollen on me when I was pregnant with this one,” Auntie Luna reached over and touched Nalyssa’s hair. She was unusually quiet, but nobody called her on it because her being mute meant she wasn’t annoying any of us. I understood that pregnancy wasn’t easy and what it was like to not have your baby father by your side, so I tried to give Lyss grace but she made it hard. She was always complaining about how we needed to do better at being a village for her and all this other bullshit.

“What?” Lyss glanced up from her phone with an attitude.

“Girl, fix the ‘tude,” Auntie Luna snarled.

“That ain’t directed at you, Lu. She already had an attitude when she was on that phone talking to Lord knows who,” Granny rolled her eyes. She made it no secret that she wasn’t feeling the fact that we were pregnant with no men in the picture. I’d explained my situation to her and she urged me to put my feelings to the side and do what was best for my baby. Nalyssa’s situation was still a big mystery though. I could only assume that she didn’t know who her baby daddy was and my grandma probably thought the same.

“Y’all gon let my niece be. She’s seven months pregnant. She can be mean if she wants to.”

“My grandson is the only reason I’ve been sparring her, but she better check herself before she wreck herself,” Auntie Luna rolled her eyes.

“See, this is why I was being quiet. All everybody wants to do is jump on me all the time. Meanwhile, Lourdes is getting spoiled 24/7 even though we’re in the same boat.”

My head bounced back at her throwing me in the mix with her. All she knew for a fact was that I was pregnant. She didn’t know my situation in depth because I’d never talked to her about it. We didn’t talk about a damn thing lately because we weren’t close anymore. Really, we hadn’t been super tight since our teen years but we did make time for each other here and there. The main thing we did as adults was communicate over the phone whenever we had tea to spill. But that had stopped when she found out she was pregnant. I figured she was going through a lot, so the distance didn’t bother me. If I was being honest, I didn’t want to be bothered with her annoying ass anyway. Lately, the only time we saw each other was around family. She hadn’t attempted to ask me anything about my pregnancy, and that was unlike her to not pry for information. However, that’s how I preferred it. I didn’t need her or anybody else in my damn business. That’s why I was surprised that she was speaking on me now.