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“There’s no way you can know that for a fact! Her word shouldn’t hold any weight to you. If she lied to you before, she'll do it again.”
“Alright, Naz. You gon’ feel how you feel but like I said, I’m not here to convince you that Lourdes is solid.”
“But you came here to tell me that you’re back with the bitch?!”
“Say,” I licked my lips. “Call her another bitch and you gon’ end up being one.”
“Oh, so you gon’ disrespect me?!”
“I always meet disrespect with disrespect. You know me, so watch yourself.”
“I gotta watch myself after you played in my face?!”
“You hear yourself, right? If you feel as though I played in your face then why are you calling Lourdes out her name? Direct that energy to me and I’ll take it on the chin.”
She took a deep breath. “Look, I’m not trying to go there with you.”
“You sure? Cause you already put your hands on me.”
“That was in the heat of the moment! I-I-I guess I can understand you wanting to work it out with your babymama on the strength of your baby.”
“What?” My head cocked back in disdain. “Us working it out doesn’t have anything to do with my baby.”
“Tuah, I beg to differ! You weren’t worried about that girl until she popped up pregnant. We were doing us and having the time of our lives until she called your phone. Damn I wish I would’ve ignored that call!”
“I wish you would have, too,” I muttered. Her answering my phone made me lose out on an entire month of Lourdes’ pregnancy. My words didn’t help the situation either but I wholeheartedly believed that Lourdes had convinced herself she was better off without me because she didn’t want to deal with drama from Naz.
“What?”
“I wish you had left my phone alone because that almost had me on the outside looking in with my first child. But none of that matters. A baby don’t keep no nigga where he don’t wanna be. I learned that shit from watching my mama.”
“Well it’s keeping you. I don’t care what you say.”
“Alright Naz, think what you want.”
“See, you don’t even care to defend it,” she smiled with her arms crossed.
“Trying to convince somebody who’s mind is already made up is the definition of insanity and I’m very sane. Again, think what you want.”
“Whatever,” she rolled her eyes. “You go and play family man. As long as you still come through and fuck me a few times a week we’ll be good.”
“Naz…did you not hear me? I’m making it work with Lourdes.”
“I heard you loud and clear. I’m not gon’ try to come between that. I’ll let you be like I always have as long as you make time for me consistently.”
“Yea, you not hearing me because you only know me as the nigga who deals with mutiple women at a time. I’m no longer single, Nazaria. That means that I won’t be dealing with anybody else, including you. We can’t even be friends anymore because it would be inappropriate.”
She snorted. “Nigga, you not bouta be faithful to that girl.”
“I’m telling you what it is. If you choose to think otherwise then that’s on you. But on some real shit, delete any pictures and shit you got with me on social media.”
“Why? You posed for any picture I posted with you and you were fucking with me when it was posted. It’s the past and nobody should be insecure about that.”
“Trust me when I say nobody is insecure about it. Nobody has even mentioned it. It’s bothering me because it’s sending a message that I’m with you but I have somebody else pregnant. It’s not a good look for anybody involved, including you.”
“I’m not deleting shit because all you’re concerned with is looking like an upstanding guy. You want people to think you’re a perfect family man now. Me keeping you on my page proves you’re full of shit. When I got out of jail you sold me a dream and now you want to act like that never happened so you can have some fake ass happily ever after.”
“Naz, I apologize for selling you a dream through my actions. I was in a fucked up head space and doing shit I knew I had no business doing deep down. I can see how the dates, laying up, and being around my family gave you false hope. I was wrong for that shit, too. But you gotta admit that even during that time I always kept it real about where we stood and I never said we were exclusive.”
