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“That’s fine. Anyways, I don’t live with no fucking body. Naz stayed at my house for about a week when she got out of jail. She got her own shit asap, so if she told you that over the phone then she lied to get under your skin. She has a few years on me, but we came up in the St. Thomas together. We started messing around when I was like 13 and to be completely honest, she took my virginity.”
“Armias, don’t tell me nothing else.”
“Why not? I’m tryna give you the real.”
“Everything you’re saying aligns with what I already thought. You’re in a long term relationship regardless if y’all have an official title on it or not. Neglecting to mention any of this to me and making it seem like I was the first girl you ever took seriously was a lie. So yea, I wasn’t the only one omitting information.”
“Man, you didn’t omit information. You straight up lied to my face multiple times. Naz was something I didn’t mention because she’s never been my girl. Your ears are hearing something that I’m not saying. Yea, she broke my virginity but I don’t hold that shit near and dear to my heart. I was just a lil nigga eager to get his dick wet, but I wasn’t in my heart over that shit. I was fucking another girl in the projects two days after that. And I’m not even trying to shit on Naz because that wasn’t special to her either. She had a whole nigga at the time, so we had an understanding. She did try to push for more years later once her man caught a fed case, but I wasn’t with it because I didn’t see her like that. And like I told you when I first met you, I didn’t do relationships because I had too much on my plate. My mindset only changed when I met you and it happened naturally. Multiple people in my family have told you that you’re the first woman I brought around on some relationship shit.”
“Yet you went to prom with Nazaria.”
“I know plenty of people who went to prom with friends. My family knew Naz as my friend who boosted and gave them free shit.”
“Stop calling that girl you friend when y’all have been hunching for over a decade.”
“Alright, we’re friends with benefits.”
“You told me y’all were dating over the phone not even an hour ago.”
“Right, and I’m free to date whoever I want. We not together no more, Lourdes.”
For a second it looked like she was ready to go off but instead she laughed in a way that scared me. It’s like she was saying “bet” without saying it. I was hoping she didn’t take that as a challenge to match my energy or something.
“On some real shit though, Lourdes, I do apologize for how she came at you. I was feeling spiteful, so that’s why I didn’t check her and it’s why I handled you the way I did. And keeping it real, I did vent to Naz about us because I was hurt.”
“That’s an excuse to tell my business and talk down on me to the next bitch, huh?”
“No, and I really wasn’t talking down on you or telling your business. That situation involved and affected me, too. I was really telling my friend my business and the details just weren’t in your favor.”
“Wow,” she chortled. “That’s some good word salad to water down running your mouth.”
“I’m not watering it down. I admitted I was hurt and I vented to people I probably shouldn’t have said shit to.”
“Like your mama?”
“Yea…a few days after everything happened she asked me to book an appointment for Zee and I just started telling her everything. That’s how I know I was in a fucked up head space because if I was thinking straight I would’ve never given her the satisfaction. She never liked you and I gave her a reason to feel vindicated.”
“Well I’m sure she spread the word to your whole family.”
“I started all this shit by talking too much, so I’ma get it under control.”
“You would want to because my mama said she’s slapping your mama for all that shit she's been talking on Facebook,” she smirked.
“That would be funny to you?”
“You want my honest answer?”
I shook my head. “I don’t find that type of dysfunction funny when we have some serious shit coming our way. Everybody needs to be one accord.”
“I don’t find drama funny either, but if a bitch gets slapped for talking shit about me then so be it. I understand I was wrong and I’m not even mad at you for venting to people. Had you did fuck shit I would’ve vented to my mama, my cousins, and my friends. The difference is they wouldn’t have taken it to the internet nor would they have come at you crazy on my behalf. But your mama and your lil girlfriend obviously want smoke with me. I’m in no position to fuss or fight right now, which is why I decided it was best for me to do my pregnancy alone. You should just respect my space.”
I was quiet for a few seconds to think about what I wanted to say and how I wanted to say it. She had me in the first half but she lost me in the end. I wanted to tell her she had me fucked up, but that approach would get me no where. She literally just said that she was trying to avoid drama and confusion, so I had to show her that I was on her side and wanted the same thing.
“Your feelings are valid, Lourdes. I already checked Naz, so she won’t be an issue for you. As far as my mama goes, she owes you an apology and I’ll make sure you get one. But if that’s not enough for you and you don’t want to deal with her then you don’t have to. I understand that you need to be at peace right now and I don’t want to disrupt that in any way. I just want to do my part.”
“What does doing your part look like in your eyes?”
“Coming with you to doctor's appointments, bringing you food, giving you money every week for whatever you may need, paying for the baby shower, and anything else you want or need. I’d just be one call away if you unblock me.”
