Page 110 of The Ringmaster’s Daughter

Bertrand slept on a chaise-longue. The events of the day had worn him out quickly and he snored loudly.

‘You cannot sleep?’ Frieda asked Michel. She sat across from Jean with Kacper next to her, the pair stroking Gino’s soft fur as he slept on Kacper’s lap.

‘Neither can you.’

‘This is not your fault, Michel.’

‘Then why do I feel so guilty?’

Kacper patted Frieda on the arm and made a sign with his hands.

‘He says he wants you to hear his story. He says it will help you understand what is happening.’

‘Is he deaf?’ Michel asked suddenly.

Kacper shook his head, then opened his mouth and pointed inside. Where there should have been a thick pink tongue was nothing more than a stump. Kacper made a chopping movement with his hand.

‘The Germans did this to you?’

Kacper shook his head sadly, then pointed a finger to his own chest.

‘You did this to yourself? Why?’

Kacper started to sign but Frieda was ahead of him – she knew his tale, she knew his words.

‘I was in Poland before the war. I am Polish, of course. I was an academic in Krakow, a mathematician. I was well respected in my field and had written much on ciphers and codes. When things started to change in Poland, I was asked to leave the university. Of course, we now know why.

‘I did not abandon my studies. If anything, now I had no job I read more, wrote more. One day, one of my ex-students came to see me. He said he had been asked by the British to look at some codes – some ciphers the Germans were using. They were building a machine to try and figure them out. I wanted to help – not just because I wanted to defend my country, but because trying to figure out the code was irresistible to me.

‘I went to Warsaw and helped with the codes. We worked day and night, barely eating, barely drinking. My wife and daughter came with me and stayed with an aunt of hers in the city, although I rarely saw them.

‘The day came when the codes were broken, and they had to get them to England. I could not go – would not leave my family – so I stayed behind, and we decided to stay a while in Warsaw. My daughter had made friends; my wife was happy to have the company of her aunt. It was the biggest mistake we ever made.

‘When the war began, the Luftwaffe dropped bombs on us so quickly it was like the whole world was going to end. We hid in an air raid shelter for three days and nights, and I did not think we would make it out alive.

‘The day we left the shelter, the city was dust and grey rubble. We picked our way back to the house, but it was gone.

‘As we stood there, another academic who had been working with us walked towards me.

‘“Kacper!” he said. “You’re alive!”

‘We embraced. Then he said: “They know about you – about you working with us. They don’t know what you did, or what you worked on, but they have your name. Your family’s names.”

‘I stood there and heard the words, and my daughter grabbed my hand and asked me what the man meant.

‘“It’s fine,” she told him. “It’s all right if they know my name.”

‘“What do I do?” I asked him. My legs were shaking.

‘“I’ll help you. I know some friends who can help you,” he said.

‘We were taken to an apartment where a skinny man with a heavy silver pocket watch spoke with my friend. Then he turned to me and said, “We can get the woman and girl out, but not you. Too much of a risk.”

‘My wife wailed and I held her. My daughter cried.

‘“It’s the only way,” the pocket watch man simply said.

‘“Where will they go?” I asked.