Page 82 of Accidentally in Love

She shrugged with a mouthful of food.

“You should have woken me up earlier.”

She shook her head. “We’re on vacation; you need to relax.”

I grunted at that. I guess she had a point.

We ate in peaceful silence, both of us too hungry to talk. I slurped down my coffee while I eyed her from across the table. Her dark hair fell into her face, and the light hit it just right that her auburn highlights shone through. My wife was gorgeous, and all I could think about was how I wanted this with her forever. She smiled at me from across the table, and all my worries melted away on the spot. She and Peanut were the only things I would care about for the rest of my life. But I still hadn’t worked up the courage to ask her about last night.

It had taken everything out of me to tell her how I felt. I wasn’t good at talking about my feelings, but she hadn't said a single word after I told her I loved her. Not a single thing. I didn’t expect her to say it back, but her not acknowledging what I said cut me to the core.

A dark thought crawled into my brain, whispering that she said nothing because she didn’t feel the same way. That she only agreed to my proposal and married me in some misguided idea that she was never gonna find someone better.

I scowled and bitterly drank my coffee; my mood soured at the thought.

I cleared the plates when we finished eating and did the dishes while she went back to the couch to snuggle up and read.

“Do you realize you hum while you clean up?” she called after me.

I frowned. “I do?”

“You do.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Okay, grumpy bear, you don’t,” she teased.

“My mom used to hum when she cleaned,” I blurted.

I didn’t know why I said that. I never liked to talk about my parents; it hurt too much. Telling Avery the reason I hated Christmas felt like someone had a knife at my throat.

I wiped my hands on a hand towel and joined her on the couch.

“You want to talk about her?” she asked and gave my hand a little squeeze.

I shook my head.

She pulled away, and the hurt look on her face stung me a little. She wasn’t trying to pry, but I didn’t like to talk about my parents.

Kath said I’d rather chew off my arm than express any emotion. Maybe it wasn’t just the kid stuff that caused our marriage to fail. Maybe it was me. When I saw the downcast look on Avery’s face, I knew I wasn’t being fair to her.

“Hey,” I whispered. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I wish you would talk to me. You’re my husband, but it’s like you’re keeping me three arms’ lengths away.”

I traced the curve of her cheek and pushed her hair out of her face. “I’m not. I’m here.”

“Anytime I bring up anything serious, you push me away. If you can’t talk to me about the important things, I’m not sure this can last.”

A lump formed in my throat as her words washed over me. I didn’t want that. I wanted us to last. I didn’t understand why she said that when I told her how I felt last night, and she said nothing in return.

“I wish you would tell me what you mean,” I growled and rubbed a hand down my face.

She narrowed her eyes at me. “What does that mean?”

“Well, you say you want me to talk to you about the important stuff, but when I told you how I felt, you ignored it and got quiet for the rest of the night.”

Her gaze clouded as she stared at me. “What are you talking about?”