Page 50 of The Chase

“No. It’s fine.”

He raised his eyebrows at me, but I didn’t say anything else before we left to carpool back to the city.

When I got home, my sister knew something was up. I knew someone had snitched on me if she was here.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” she asked.

Benny and her shared a look, and she dragged me down onto the couch with her. Benny took the seat next to her and gave her a quick kiss before letting her return her attention to me.

I put my head in my hands. “I don’t know.”

“What happened?”

“Maxine woke up screaming this morning and then kicked me out. I’ve never seen her like that before, and I…”

“You wanted to be there for her, but she pushed you away.”

I nodded.

Rox put a hand on my shoulder. “Maybe give her some space? This isn’t about you.”

“Rox, it was so scary seeing her like that.”

“It’ll be okay, Tristan. You need to give her a bit of time. How was everything before that?”

I smiled. “Fantastic. I don’t know what happened.”

Benny stroked his beard. “Sometimes, dude, you have to be patient with women. Even if they’re frustrating creatures that don’t tell you what they want.”

My sister flicked him the bird, and he laughed and pulled her hand to his chest. “Like this one. Did you ever think I’d tame your sister?”

“Okay, buddy, you didn’t tame Roxie. She pulls you around by the dick.”

“HA!” my sister laughed. “He likes it.”

Benny kissed her temple and shrugged. “Best thing to ever happen to me.”

I sighed. “Ugh, you two are gross.”

But the thing was, I was jealous of my sister and Benny. Especially now that my girl kicked me out of her house this morning. I wanted to hold her and dry her tears, but she wouldn’t let me.

Was I destined to never find happiness? Maybe all the cruel things Nat said to me in high school were true. I was just a stupid jock who was easily replaceable. I should have been content with fucking my way through all of Philadelphia with women who didn’t care about me. But Maxine had put me under her spell, and I didn’t want things to end here.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

MAXINE

I laid on my bed and stared at the text message chain with TJ. Instead of getting ready for work, I was still lying in bed. I was taking a mental health day for sure. I had already texted Rox to tell her I needed one, but she hadn’t responded yet.

I’d felt like the biggest jerk in the world since I kicked TJ out of my house this past weekend. Especially after an amazing night of incredible sex where I didn’t feel guilty or shameful at all. Then I had another dream about the accident and woke up crying in TJ’s arms. I didn’t want him to see what he’d deal with if he was with me.

I hadn’t heard from him since that night, and I worried he’d realized what a mess I was. There was a reason I didn’t open myself up to people. Why I haven’t had a relationship since Charlie. I didn’t deserve it, and the other person didn’t deserve to have to suffer over my mental health issues.

My heartbeat was too loud in my head. I dropped my phone and tried to focus on my breathing. My breath came in jagged pants…and that’s how I knew I was having a panic attack.

I hated this. I hated feeling this way. Like I was going to jump out of my skin. My thoughts were too loud, pounding into me as I freaked out about the state of my life.

My phone buzzed on my bed. I grabbed it and pressed it to my ear with a shaky hand as I tried to control my breathing. My hands were sweaty, and I felt like it was getting harder to breathe.