Page 37 of The Fake Out

I banged my head on the steering wheel of my car. I didn’t want to become like Dad. I didn’t want to be a shell of a person or an old man who was scared to move on. This fake dating arrangement was a way to convince myself I could move on. Maybe Veronica could help me finally get over Astrid.

“I don’t want to be him,” I admitted.

“Then don’t be.”

“I’m moving on,” I protested, even though it was a huge, fat lie. “I met a girl.”

“I saw. Is Dad pissed because he told Ayden she’s off limits?”

I didn’t know if that was for real or because Dad thought Ayden needed to stop sowing his wild oats. I didn’t let Dad get another word in before I stormed out. Just like I did when I was a teenager. It was like moving back in with him sucked me into a time loop of being that angry teen who missed his mom.

“You really like this woman?” Maja asked.

“Yeah, I do,” I admitted, and it wasn’t a lie. It just wasn’t the truth my sister was searching for.

Veronica O’Malley was still a mystery to me, but the parts I’d seen of her I liked. Not just the sex stuff, even though that was fantastic. I got why she was so anti-relationship. I felt awful that I discovered her ex had been cheating on her and got another woman pregnant. My heart broke for how upset it made her. But I also wanted to knock that asshat’s teeth in.

“Well…” My sister trailed off. “I’m glad to see you moving on, but I have to ask you something.”

“Okay?”

“Did you get your tattoo fixed?”

I had every intention of getting Astrid’s name removed or covered up. I had seen Veronica’s work, and it was gorgeous. I wanted her to do it, but I had no idea what I wanted to get done. Her suggestion for a maple leaf made sense, but I never felt tied to Mom’s Canadian heritage.

“Not yet,” I admitted.

“Uh-huh.”

“Maja, what?”

She sighed. “I love you, bro. But if you were really over Astrid, you’d have gotten rid of that shit already.”

“I’m going to. I don’t know what to get.”

“You’ve never been indecisive about a tattoo before.”

“V suggested a maple leaf because of Mom.”

“Mom liked hibiscuses.”

Mom had like hibiscuses, and Veronica’s forte was colorful flowers. The idea of getting something for my mom, who I still missed every single day, appealed to me.

“Blaise, I have to go. I have class,” Maja told me.

“Shit, sorry. I just needed to talk.”

“I love you. You know you can call me to talk about this shit, right?”

“I know. Love you too, little sis. Give my love to Jules?”

“Of course.”

I hung up with another long sigh.

Why hadn’t I gotten Veronica to do my cover-up yet? Was my sister right? Was I still holding on to Astrid? I wanted to move on. I definitely didn’t want to turn into my dad.

On that cheery note, I walked into the arena to prepare for morning skate.