Page 75 of The Fake Out

Riley looked up from taping his stick for the hundredth time. “Yeah, man, you were slow in morning skate today. What gives?”

I ground my teeth together. Being on a hockey team was like being in a big family. You spent so much time with this group of guys, you noticed all their quirks. Also nosy as fuck, just like my regular family. Only worse.

“Nothing,” I lied while I tied my skates.

“You get into a fight with V?” TJ asked.

I rubbed a hand across my jaw and pulled my helmet on.

“Dude!” Riley exclaimed. “Don’t bring that shit to the ice.”

I sighed. “Can you guys get off my dick?”

They exchanged a look, and I walked out of the locker room and down the tunnel. Yeah, I was still pissed, but I had to get my head in the game. I didn’t know why I was so mad. Maybe because Veronica was right. I wasn’t her boyfriend at all. All of this was just so she could get back at her ex and I could get my family to stop worrying about me.

The problem? I cared about her. She was closed off, but those little slivers of herself she slipped through to me had me begging for more. I wanted to be her boyfriend for real, but she didn’t want that. I wasn’t like her; I couldn’t do casual without letting my feelings get in the way.

The music started, and I skated out on the ice. I hit a couple pucks into the net and then got down onto the ice to do stretches next to TJ. He waved at his girl, who gave him a shy smile from behind the glass. I wasn’t surprised when Veronica wasn’t sitting with her or the other girls. A sour taste formed in my mouth, and my heart wrenched.

TJ nudged me. “Dude, how bad was the fight?”

“How do you know we got into a fight?”

“Because when Max and I fight and I have a home game, sometimes she doesn’t show up.”

“Really? You guys seem so solid.”

He shook his head. “No. I was the last person I thought would work hard to maintain a relationship. I love her, but her PTSD and anxiety can be hard.”

I stared at him. “Her what?”

“She has survivor’s guilt, and she feels like she’s a burden to me. When we first started dating, she tried to break up with me multiple times.”

“I had no idea.”

She and TJ looked so happy together, but I remembered after graduation, her parents died in a car accident. It was hard enough when I lost my mom; I couldn’t imagine what it was like losing both of your parents at once.

“We’re good, but we had to learn to talk with each other and work through our issues. We go to therapy and talk it out. Whatever you did, apologize and listen to what’s bothering V.”

I didn’t think I would get pearls of wisdom from TJ of all the guys on the team. It didn’t matter if I apologized; the problem was that I had blurred the line, and Veronica showed me where it was again. Maybe it was better this way. Now it wouldn’t seem as bad when I told everyone we broke up.

“Don’t let it affect your game,” TJ warned.

I chewed on my mouthguard as I skated towards the bench. My line wasn’t starting tonight. Coach paired Riley and me together with the second line of TJ-Benny-Noah. I watched with bated breath as the puck dropped, and our captain got possession quickly. It was still early in the season, but this team was thirsty for the cup again. Now that I was wearing the red and black, I wanted to bring them the cup again. To prove to the city they took on my contract for a reason. That I was worthy of the logo on my chest.

Tonight we were playing the Pittsburgh Miners, who I grew up hating, so it was going to be an intense game. It was always fun when it was The Battle of Pennsylvania.

G tried to break out of the neutral zone, but Logan and McCarthy weren’t strong enough to defend. G passed to Hallsy, who broke out and skated up the ice to advance toward Pittsburgh’s goal. A Miner forward stole the puck and got it out of his zone.

I cheered on my teammates from the bench until it was my turn to hop onto the ice. McCarthy was too slow getting to the bench, and since TJ had the puck in play, we got whistled for too many men on the ice. Riley tried to argue with the refs since he was an Alternate Captain, but they weren’t having it and sent TJ to the box. The game was still scoreless, and now the Miners had the man advantage.

“Holmsy, let’s kill this, yeah?” Riley tried to pump me up.

I grinned and nodded, watching the Miners’ captain in particular. I was going to do everything in my power to be a nuisance to that guy and not let him score on Metzy. It was time to get to work.

We killed the penalty and then some, winning the game 3-2. I didn’t even want to go to the bar, but TJ dragged me along.

“Woo hoo, another Bulldogs win!” TJ shouted.