Page 81 of Trigger Happy Ending

“Any leads?”

She sighs. “Not really. A lot of her files are classified, including her final assignment, and the ones Smyth can access are heavily redacted.”

The rain streaks down the windows, rivulets tracing lines across the glass. A few moments pass before I state the obvious.

“You want revenge.”

Raine pauses. She knows I wasn’t really asking a question, but rather making a statement. I knew she had an axe to grind from the way she responded to my own painful story. She was too curious, too inquisitive around the concept of revenge. I can understand the unrelenting need to inflict pain on those who alter your life. That desire to rid the world of the person who made your life go from color to gray in an instant.

“She didn’t want this life for me,” Raine says, her eyes cast downward. “She’d be horrified if she knew what I’ve become.”

“Even though she raised you in it?”

She nods ever so slightly. “She didn’t have a choice. But she wanted me to have a life. She was trying to figure things out. To get me out.”

“Do you think that’s why she was killed?”

A few moments of silence hang between us before she shrugs. “Maybe.”

I stare at her for a long moment, remembering how cut she was when I revealed this was my last assignment. That my freedom is within reach.

Fuck, no wonder she crawled back into her shell.

“I want a different life,” she says quietly. “One where I’m in control. But I’ll never have that. I’ll never know freedom, or what it feels like to find peace.”

“It’s hard to find peace when you are born into destruction.”

Her mouth curves into a sad smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “Exactly.”

Chapter 35

Soren

An hour or two passes, and in that time, we manage to polish off a bottle and a half of wine, plus two tequila shots. The power’s still out, candles flickering. The apartment smells incredible, a blend of caramel and sea salt. Outside, the rain and wind hammer on. Raine and I sit on the floor, backs against the sofa, coffee table shoved away, allowing our legs to stretch. Each time a flash of lightning illuminates the room, she flinches. It’s not obvious, just a small reflex that most people would miss. But not me. I seem to notice everything she does.

“Why do you hate storms?”

“No reason.”

I roll my head towards her and narrow my eyes. “Bullshit. You’re not as good a liar as you think you are.”

Raine’s eyes flicker as she looks down to her wineglass. She traces the rim of it with her thumb. “When I was sixteen, I tried to run away from the Agency. I snuck out one afternoon and disappeared into the woods, believing I would find a way out.”

She pauses, smiling softly as if she’s remembering what it was like to once have hope. “I was so stupid. The agents caught me within twenty minutes.”

I say nothing, allowing her the space to speak a painful memory.

“There’s an open field near headquarters,” Raine continues. “Have you seen it?”

Frowning, I shake my head. I haven’t seen much of the area surrounding the headquarters. Never needed to.

“In the middle of a field is a wooden crucifix … They tied me to it.”

I feel my eyes round. “They tied you to a crucifix?”

“Yep. First, they stripped me down to my underwear, then tied ropes around my wrists and my ankles. After I was secured to the beams, my feet could barely touch the ground. The first strike hit the ground near me. I remember the light before the sound. Everything went white, I honestly thought I’d gone blind. And then it just kept happening. Over and over again. Strike after strike. Never knowing if the next one would be the one that would fry me from the inside out,” her voice trails off, detached.

I feel my jaw unclench and hang open. They tortured her. She was fucking tortured at sixteen years old.