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“That’s not true.” Not exactly. “I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t want to wake you up.” The truth was that he’d never gone back to sleep after that nightmare. He just couldn’t shake the feeling of inevitable doom.
She eyed him up. “So then I jumped to the wrong conclusion? You weren’t trying to get away from me?”
The hurt look in her eyes tore at him. This was all about him, not her. She was wonderful—amazing—perfect. He just wasn’t the guy for her. But how did he make that clear to her?
He got up from his seat and moved across the aisle and sat beside her, still not sure what to say. Somehow, someway he had to say the right words to make her realize that she was amazing, but they just weren’t going to have more than they’d shared yesterday.
He resisted the urge to pull her into his arms and kiss away the unhappiness written all over her face. Instead, he took her hand in his. “Kayla, you are the most wonderful woman I have ever known. And yesterday was very special. I will never ever forget it—”
“But you don’t want to see me again.” She jerked her hand away.
“No—I mean yes.” He blew out a breath. “I’m not the man to settle down into a serious relationship.”
“Is that what you tell all of your women?”
“No. It’s not.” She eyed him with obvious disbelief reflected in her eyes. “I’m telling you the truth. I never let anyone get this close to me.”
She crossed her arms. “Then why me? Why did I have to be the one that you let get close only to reject me after one night?”
Frustration balled up in his gut—not at her, at himself for being unable to explain this properly. He’d been a scared young man with no one to turn to for help. Thank goodness for his inheritance or else he never would have been able to make it in the States. But did either of his parents care? No. Did they ever write or phone? No. Not until he’d made it on his own did he hear from his mother—she was marrying his father again and she wanted him to be there. Angelo didn’t bother to respond. The only family he acknowledged these days was his brother and sister.
He didn’t need a romantic relationship. Love was overrated. His business gave him happiness and a sense of accomplishment—that was all he’d ever need.
And somewhere along the way, he’d stumbled upon his explanation to Kayla. “You have to understand that for years now the only thing I’ve had to count on in my life was my career, and then it was my business. I’ve put everything I am into it—”
“But what does that have to do with me—with us?”
He reached out as though to squeeze her arm, but when her eyes widened, he realized that he was making yet another mistake and pulled back. “One of the reasons that Amatucci & Associates was able to grow so rapidly into a top advertising firm is that I gave it 110 percent of my attention—to the point of spending many nights on the couch in my office.”
Her eyes grew shiny and she blinked repeatedly. “So what you’re saying is that your company is now and will always be more important to you than me.”
Is that what he was saying? It sure sounded much harsher when she said it. His gut twisted in a painful knot, knowing that he couldn’t be the man worthy of her heart.
“You have to understand. I’m losing my edge. I fumbled this wedding pitch. If it wasn’t for you, it would have been a disaster. The thing is I don’t fumble accounts. I always maintain my cool. I keep my distance so that I am able to view projects objectively. But since we’ve been in Italy—since that first kiss—I haven’t been able to maintain a professional distance. I’ve been all over the place, and that can’t happen—I can’t lose focus. It’s what keeps me ahead of my competitors.”
He did his best work when he relied on his head and not his heart. It was all of the talk about romance and weddings that had him thinking there was something between him and Kayla. That was all. Exhaustion and too much talk of love.
“I really need to work now.” Kayla’s voice was icy cold and dismissive.
“Do me a favor.” He wanted to say something to lighten her mood.
“Depends.”
“Remind me to stay far, far away from any other accounts where there’s a wedding involved.”
She didn’t smile. She didn’t react at all. Her head turned back to her computer.
He felt compelled to try again to smooth things over. Was that even possible at this point? “Is there anything I can help you with?”
Her narrowed gaze met his straight on. “You’ve helped me quite enough. I can handle this on my own. I’m sure you have something requiring your objective view and professional distance.”
He moved back to his s
eat on the other side of the aisle. The fact that she was throwing his own words back in his face hurt. But he deserved it and so much more. He’d lost his head while in Halencia and now Kayla was paying the price.
For the rest of the flight, Kayla didn’t say a word, and though he longed for her understanding—he had to accept that it was too much for her to take in. There was a part of him that wasn’t buying it, either. It was the same part of him that couldn’t imagine what his life was going to be like without her in it.
He leaned back in his seat, hearing the wheels of the plane screech as they made contact with the tarmac. Instead of returning to Italy, he longed to be in New York—a return to a structured, disciplined work atmosphere.
