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"I said I'm⁠—"

The first tear caught me completely off guard. I blinked, furious, and pressed the back of my hand against my cheek like I could just put it back.

I couldn't.

Angelica took the plate off my lap before it fell on the floor and put it on the coffee table. She didn't say anything. She didn't pull me into a hug or hand me a tissue or do any of the things that would have let me get mad at her. Instead, she just let me sink into my feelings.

The wench. She must have learned it in acting school or something.

“Do you know the worst part?”

Angelica shook her head.

“Tonight when everybody was eating cheeseburgers I had to leave the room to express milk for a baby I had to give away. How is that fair?”

“It’s not.”

I started to cry in earnest.

“Chloe and Zarek have offered to bring Olivia by three times, but that would just make things worse. I need to distance. I need to accept I’m just her aunt. You know?”

I grabbed up a paper towel from the coffee table and blew my nose.

“I know, Honey.”

“I miss her so much. I miss talking to her. I talked to Olivia everyday when she was inside me.” I looked up at Angelica. “Do you think she misses me?”

“I’m sure she does.”

I swallowed. “But she has Chloe. She has Zarek. They love her so much.” I hiccupped.

“They do.”

“Most of the time I’m so happy about this, but sometimes it just hurts. You know? And I don’t want to tell anyone in my family. Drake is a practicing psychologist. He wants me to open up to him, but I just can’t.”

“Do you think you should see someone?”

“I already did. That was part of this whole process. They wanted to make sure I had my head on straight and could handle the… the… hand off.”

At that point, Angelica leaned in and put her arms around me. “You’re doing beautifully. Of course you’re sad.”

“But I’m not.” I sniffed. “I’m happy.”

Angelica laughed. “Uh-huh.”

“I am. Most of the time.”

“Promise to call me the times you’re not happy, okay?”

I pulled back and looked her in the eye. “You know, this is the first time I’ve cried about giving Olivia up.”

“I’d say you needed it.”

I gave a small smile. “I’d say you’re right.” I looked down at the crackers and cheese. They didn’t look all that appealing. “I think it’s time for some ice cream.”

“If you get out the ice cream, are you going to tell me more about Adam Beckett?” Angelica waggled her eyebrows.

“Depends what flavor Trenda stocked my freezer with.”