Page 59 of Between Love & Ruin

While I initially had no feelings for Dominic, and I would assume he didn’t either, the dynamics between us changed drastically. I was going to break up with Mark anyway, but being around Dominic only made me realize how badly I needed the kind of comfort he was willing to provide, and I don’t think that’s a morally correct thing to do.

I find myself slowly getting consumed with Dominic, and I need a little space from that. The feelings I have for him and how strong they’re getting day by day terrify me. The only way I can gain some sort of control is by leaving.

For now.

* * *

“Dominic,” I say as he drops me off in front of my hotel one last time. I fiddle with my fingers, trying to distract myself from bawling my eyes out. I don’t get attached to people or places so easily. But for the first time I find it difficult to get away from him and New York all together. “Thanks for everything you have done for me.”

He keeps his hand over mine, and that’s the second time he has touched me today. He brings my hands and rests them over his thighs, rubbing a soothing thumb over them, and I stare at how perfect they look together.

Why couldn’t we meet earlier? Why couldn’t we fall for each other without any past links or attachments?

“Don’t thank me,” he says, his eyes soft as they drift over my face, almost as if he’s committing every detail to memory. “I did what I’ve always wanted to do, for myself.”

“No, but really. I’ve never had anyone look after me the way you have in such a short span of time. I’ve never felt this safe or cared for. I’ve never felt this seen.”

I lick my lips, trying to find the courage to speak further. I want to pour my heart out to him, and I know he will listen carefully. He always does. But now is not the best time.

“I don’t know what twisted games the universe was playing by making us meet at a time when—” I shake my head, cutting myself off, but I know he understands what I am trying to say. “But I am really grateful for our friendship. For all the time that we spent together. I will always cherish it.”

He reaches up with his hand and caresses my cheek, and I barely contain the urge to lean into his touch. I would say I lucked out with him, to have a man like him care for me so genuinely. But not so much because I cannot be with him.

Like a curse.

He pulls my face towards him, and my heart flutters beneath my chest, and my skin turns warm. He closes his eyes as he touches his forehead with mine, and despite the risk of it all, I let myself savor this last moment of peace.

“I never imagined I would fall for someone so fast and so hard, Sienna. I didn’t believe in that kind of thing. But the moment I read your books, I felt like you were writing directly to me, to my soul. And the moment I looked at you, I felt a sense of belonging I haven’t felt in thirty years of my life.”

“I never believed in destiny, but I do believe you and I were meant for each other, despite everything. You and I were made for each other, and I will do everything to prove that to you.”

My eyes water, and I close my eyes to not let the tears fall. My heart aches with a need to be with him, and the fact that I cannot do that makes me want to do something unthinkable.

“I just ask you to come back to me. And this time, only come back for me. Fall in love with me this time, Sienna. Because I don’t think I will be able to survive without you for long.”

I smile and pull away from him slightly to get a good look at his beautiful face. He has the perfect symmetry of features. A light beard, perfectly trimmed, giving him a rugged look. Eyes as dark as my favorite coffee and eyelashes so beautiful that I would love to count them one day.

“You have such a way with words, Dominic Wolfe.”

He chuckles, cupping my jaw, pressing a kiss to my cheek, and my toes curl.

“I guess I found my muse in you.”

I finally push him away, and he reluctantly lets go of me. I take one last look at him and get out of his car.

And just because I don’t trust myself to not break in front of him, I don’t look back.

But I know he waits for it the entire time I walk inside the building.

And that alone breaks me up all together.

* * *

“Are you sure you want to do this, sweetie?” Laura asks as I pack the rest of my belongings before leaving the hotel.

When I informed Aisha that I would be leaving soon, she was furious, but then she understood my reasoning. While she doesn’t completely support the idea, she also gets where I am coming from. She knows how it feels to cut things off with the one person you never thought would turn out this way. In her case, there’s still love, despite what she kept telling herself.

But in my situation, I doubt there ever was love. Infatuation, yes. But love? I don’t think so.