Page 7 of Between Love & Ruin

“How was your day?” I ask him as we sit down at the dinner table.

He was in a pissed mood when he came back, and when he looks like that, you can’t really expect him to talk nicely. I mean, he barely talks nicely when he isn’t in a bad mood.

“Fine,” he says, and I nod silently. I don’t know why it sounds like a big deal to tell him that I will be going to NYC alone. It’s not like we travel together. The only time we went on a trip was in university with our group of friends, and ever since that, every single year has just passed with me asking for a trip and him declining because of his work, until I stopped asking altogether.

“I need to tell you something important,” I start, and he keeps his gaze focused on his food.

“Are you listening?”

He hums, and I clear my throat to go on. My stomach feels empty despite still eating, and I just want this desperate, hollow feeling to go away.

“I had a meeting with Aisha Kapoor today. We finalized the three-month book tour in New York for my upcoming release,” I let out all at once, and my chest feels relieved now.

“Aisha who?” he questions, and I seriously feel like I have been talking to a wall.

Which boyfriend doesn’t remember the name of their girlfriend’s supposed boss?

“The senior editor at Maple & Sage Publishing,” I say, the thing I have said probably ten times before. “You know my publisher, right?”

He nods, but I can tell he has no fucking clue of that, and that alone makes me want to leave him.

Every single thing in my life and every single person actually points me to leave him. I just need to get to the point to do it because emotionally, I think I have already checked out.

“Yes, so I will be out of town for three months.”

“I won’t be able to make it,” he says with a shake of his head. “I have important projects lined up.”

“So?”

“So how do you expect me to join you?” He asks, and I actually feel like laughing in his face.

The entitlement is baffling.

“I never expected you to come,” I say. “I’m going with Aisha and my publishing team.”

He coughs suddenly, and I wait for him to get over whatever this was. I don’t get the theatrics.

“You don’t really think that’s possible, do you?”

“What do you mean?”

“You can’t be going alone for months. You should have asked me before making such a decision.”

I scoff. “Why should I ask you about my career? I am not a child who needs someone’s permission, Mark.”

“If you actually care about this relationship, don’t you think major decisions should be discussed first?”

“So now you realize that we are in a relationship?” I am fuming as I stand up to argue. I feel like I will burst into flames. No one gets to order me around—least of all a man who doesn’t care anymore, who stopped caring a while ago.

I sometimes can’t believe that this is the man I fell for. After all the standards I had set for myself, I fell for a man who only met them for a while.

“You never consider me while taking big decisions about your career, do you? Then why do you care about mine? I have the right to decide what I want to do with my life, and you are no one to stop me. I will be going, and I am not going to hear a word against it.”

I turn to leave because I fear if I stay a minute longer, I am going to break something or his face.

“I will be coming with you,” he says, and I sigh, not ready to argue about this again.

“Don’t you have work priorities now?” I taunt.