Page 79 of Summer in Greece

Without realising, I moved my face towards him and found my lips on his and his hand on the back of my head. His breathing became laboured and instinctively, I realised I should move away. My face was on fire, and my heart almost bursting from my chest.

‘I love you, nurse. Promise you’ll find me when you come back to Blighty?’

‘Oh goodness,’ I whispered, pulling away from him, feeling his kiss still on my lips. ‘That’s enough of that now.’ His eyes were sparkling. I’d never seen him looking quite so happy and it made me glad . . . Glad, and powerful, and generous, and in control. ‘Now, you must tell me how we will avoid Kaiser Bill’s torpedoes,’ I said in little more than a whisper. ‘For my heart’s very afraid of what might happen.’

‘You can give your heart to me, Gertie Smith, I will take good care of it, I give you my word.’

Oh, I felt myself melting away with his lovely words, but did he mean them? I was not sure. His injuries were bound to change his mood, Nurse Josephine had already told me this. He only meant half the things he said. ‘Dear Corporal Perkins, I’m sure you have many fine ladies awaiting your return to Blighty.’

‘Don’t try and change the subject, nurse. You must kiss me again. That was the best medicine and must be administered every three hours for a speedy recovery.’

‘Behave, Corporal. You must be delirious. Perhaps I should use my initiative and get the orderlies to prepare an ice bath.’

‘Ice? Where would they get that on a ship in the Mediterranean? I think I’m safe.’ He winced again.

‘What is it?’ I took his hand.

‘It’s my foot, my right foot. Strange as I haven’t got one.’ Suddenly he was angry. ‘The pain goes on throbbing, though they cut it off a month ago.’ He reached down towards the missing limb. ‘Damn queer when you reason. I feel it’s still there, sometimes it even itches.’ He glowered at me for a moment. ‘Do you think my foot believes it’s still attached to me, down there on the bottom of the sea? No, of course not, it will be long gone, won’t it. Eaten by crabs and scavenging fish. Perhaps that’s what I’m feeling! What do you think? Is my old foot playing this cruel game, or is it my brain making fun of the poor cripple? How many times do I feel a twinge, a twitch, a little pain, then I look down and realise, I’ve been fooled again.’ His bitter laughter would have curdled cream. ‘How do you scratch the itch of a phantom limb?’

‘You’re just tired, Corporal. You need all the rest you can get in order to heal properly.’

‘Tired!’ he yelled angrily.

‘Shush now,’ I said, startled. ‘I’m not supposed to be here. You’ll get me into trouble.’

He lowered his voice and seemed to calm down a little. ‘What will become of us, Nurse Gertie? What chance have we got together? You’re young and healthy and very beautiful and if I close my eyes and dream, I see you with our child on your hip.’

‘A child . . . Oh my.’ I humoured him. ‘Is it a boy, or a girl?’

‘We will have a boy and a girl, I guess, so take your pick. First, I will marry you, naturally, and build you a fine house, the best, admired by everyone. You’ll be so incredibly happy you’ll be laughing all the time.’

‘Aren’t we going a little fast here? I came in to check your dressing and five minutes later I’m married with a child on my hip!’ I smiled. ‘Anyway, I think you have a fine imagination for someone who’s never even heard me laugh.’

‘Of course I’ve heard you laugh, let me think now . . .’ He screwed his face up. ‘Ah, yes, it was on the Britannic. Wait, it’s coming back . . .’ He lifted a finger and closed his eyes for a second. ‘You were left in charge of us by boss woman. You were being too hoity-toity by far, then the bedpans toppled and there was poop everywhere and we laughed so much.’ He stopped and chuckled. ‘I’ve never seen anyone go so red in all my life before, your face was scarlet.’ He paused, squinting at nothing. ‘I’d forgotten all that . . .’ He frowned, clearly trying to remember the incident more clearly.

Horrified, the last thing I wanted was him dwelling on his last morning aboard the Britannic. I had to change the subject. ‘Seriously now, tell me how we’ll avoid the Hun’s torpedoes? I’m a little anxious, to tell the truth, afraid after all that’s happened.’

He returned to now. ‘I think the admiralty ask themselves that same question every time a vessel leaves port, Nurse Gertie. They’ll be zig-zagging to avoid enemy torpedoes, don’t you worry.’

I heard the bravado in his voice. The very idea that he should protect me made him feel stronger.

‘We could sleep on deck. What do you think?’ I asked.

‘We’re probably safer here, below. You can stay if you’re afraid.’

The tension in his voice made my heart squeeze. ‘Thank you, I’d feel safer. I’ll get the lifesavers, just in case, and pull two chairs together to fix myself a bed.’

‘My blanket’s in that kit bag in the corner, make yourself comfortable.’

I found the lifesaver locker and took two cork and canvas belts out, then pulled the grey army issue blanket from Perkins’s duffel. Once I was settled beside his bed, he reached for my hand again.

He stared at the ceiling. ‘I don’t remember much from the Britannic,’ he said. ‘I’d forgotten how we teased you. Was that the same morning?’ he said casually. ‘I don’t remember anything much from before the lifeboat. That was the nightmare. Everyone screaming, panicked, climbing over each other to get to the back. I can see their faces, mouths and eyes open wide, hysterical, but the only noise was the ear-bursting racket from the propellers . . . then nothing until I woke in your arms.’

My intense relief to hear him admit this made me feel faint. He didn’t know I’d opened the portholes. Did he remember it was me on duty that morning, though? Would he say as much under questioning at an inquiry? Should I tell him. And if I did, what would his reaction be?

‘I was saved by a dolphin,’ I said, the words shocking me as much as him. ‘It pushed me up to the surface and saved my life.’

‘You were hallucinating.’