Page 87 of Managing the Major

His palms were sweating, which usually happened before a battle. “No, thank you. Actually, there’s another subject I’d like to discuss.”

“Certainly. Do you mind if I have a glass?”

“Of course not.”

Richard went to the sideboard, taking a bottle and a glass from underneath. “Let’s go into the library.”

As they went down the hall, Alastair noticed the house seemed particularly empty. “Is the countess away?”

“She and my brother-in-law are attempting to teach cricket to our combined children. Really, it’s just an effort to give Valentina and the new baby a bit of peace. Denys is quite good at the game, while Fiona is rather bloodthirsty.”

He looked at Richard quizzically. “I’ve never heard cricket described as a bloodthirsty pastime.”

“Only an Irishwoman would make it so.” He motioned to a pair of overstuffed leather chairs by the fireplace. When they both got comfortable, he took a sip of whiskey.

The resemblance between brother and sister struck him once again. Besides having similar coloring and features, Richard and Octavia shared the same relaxed cordiality, not very common to people of their station. Both were kind by nature and wanted to do right, and that made them easy to like. He would be fortunate indeed to marry into such a family.

There was no sense in skirting the issue around either of them. “I’d like permission to pay my addresses to Octavia.”

Richard swirled the whiskey in his glass without looking up.

“You don’t seem surprised to hear this.”

“I’m not surprised you’re in love with her, nor she with you. I’ve been around you both enough to see the signs. What is a bit astonishing is that you’ve both accepted being in love.”

“What do you mean?” Alastair asked, intrigued by the comment.

“Octavia, for one, has always refused to marry. She fears losing her independence, and I take some of the blame for that.”

Now he was genuinely puzzled. “Why would you blame yourself?”

“I should have married earlier. Octavia had no examples to show her marriage wasn’t something to fear. She saw her mother alone after rumors of an unhappy union, which were true, then grew up with a brother who avoided any emotional ties with the opposite sex. I think she looked on marriage as something to be feared.”

“And why did you think I would refuse love? Or marriage, for that matter?” It was a fascinating discussion, and he enjoyed being challenged.

“Our fears make us avoid what we deeply want,” Richard said. “I feared being loved for my wealth and title alone, so I avoided meaningful relationships. He took a long draught of whiskey.

“You feared your outward appearance would drive people away, so you did that by hiding yourself. Am I correct?”

Alastair nodded. “You are. Fortunately, Octavia changed all that.”

“No, you changed it, major. She was the catalyst.”

It was the truth. “I know Octavia fears the loss of her independence.”

“It’s more than that. She fears love will diminish who she is. My sister is quite amazing, as you know; a woman born out of her time.”

“She is an extraordinary woman, Richard. But you didn’t think we could overcome our fears, did you?”

“I’m pleased you have.” He finished the last of the whiskey. “May I ask what kind of life you imagine for Octavia when you are man and wife?”

“Of course. And the answer is simple: Whatever she wants. Whatever Octavia needs, not just to be content, but to flourish. She has given me my life back, and I have no desire to limit hers.” Like Theo, he checked to see how this was received.

Richard remained quiet, rolling the empty glass between his fingers. But then he looked up with those same remarkable eyes as Octavia, and Alastair knew he had said the right thing.

“I hope Fairfax will be her home, a relatively simple life, but with no expectations outside her own. We’ve discussed traveling and seeing the world. And lots of horses. We’ll be comfortable, but we won’t live in the luxury she’s accustomed to. Can she be happy with that, Richard?”

“Our wealth and position were always more of a shield than something Octavia actually needed. They gave her the freedom to do as she wished, but I think you give her that freedom, too.”