Page 50 of Let the Light Shine Through

Leaning my forearms against the counter, I watch the exchange silently. Gia’s shirt with holes for the thumbs covers a finely sculpted ass that I’d give anything to glimpse more of right now.

Rowdy scoffs, matching her step for step in his retreat. “I don’t have to clean there. That’s what my mom’s for.”

And yeah, Gia pounces. I mean really, Rowdy set himself up for it with that comment, so I don’t feel bad when Gia rat-tails him in the nuts after wrestling the dishtowel from his hands. Laughter spills from my mouth, even though my thighs squeeze together in solidarity with him.

He curls into the fetal position on the hardwood floor, cupping his boys. The cotton towel is still pretty wet from drying dishes too, so I know he’s hurting.

Gia bends down to kiss his cheek, saying, “You know I love you but that was a dickhead thing to say.” She stands, looking me in the eye and making the air refilling my lungs catch. And not from fear of being rat-tailed either. No, this is a different fear entirely.

Not yet.

“What about you?”

“What about me?” I counter.

“Are you tired?”

I tip a shoulder. “I could sleep.” Or not. I’d never sleep again if it meant I didn’t have to leave here.

Without breaking eye contact, she says, “Tell your mom I said hi,” and holds out her hand to me.

My eyebrows are just starting to pull together when Rowdy speaks from the floor, asking, “You’re kicking me out?” He gets to his feet with glistening eyes.

“Well, we’re going to sleep, so…” Gia lets that hang in the air while Rowdy and I glance at each other with equally lost expressions. Does she mean I’m staying?

Gia flips her hand palm side up and says, “Come on, cowboy.”

I ask, “You want me to stay?” at the same time Rowdy bursts, “You want him to stay?”

Gia simply rolls her eyes, grabbing my shirt to pull me after her. “You’re just as tired as I am.”

Although lying next to Gia dressed in underwear and not much else will most likely not result in sleeping, I’m not about to correct her. At least not in front of Rowdy. I do have some dignity.

On the way up the stairs, I go tell Rowdy goodbye but swallow the word whole when I get a good look at him. If anything, I thought he’d be worried for Gia, his best friend, but the concern in his eyes isn’t aimed at her at all. It’s for me.

Vanilla and rosemary knock me square in the face as soon as we cross the threshold to her room and I see a candle with three lit wicks sitting on a worn oak desk next to an open laptop.

“Romantic,” I tease to hide my nerves. What the hell’s going on with me?

“Shut up.”

She releases my shirt, then face-plants on top of a white comforter with different species of birds hand-drawn on it, making me chuckle. Above the headboard hangs a string of white lights with pictures clipped to the cord between the bright bulbs. I’m not even surprised to find photos of more birds along with candid shots with friends, her dad, and a woman whose portrait we passed in the hallway. Vita. It’s easy to see where Gia gets most of her features from—her mom was absolutely beautiful.

One black-and-white photo shows Gia curled up in a hospital bed, her arms wrapped snugly around her mother, both of them asleep. It doesn’t look like it was taken that long ago.

“Is that why you missed a year? Because you had to take care of your mom?”

She turns her head to the side, cracking open an eye. “No. I chose to miss school because I chose to take care of my mom. You have to collect every minute you have with someone, you know?”

I nod. I do. There are so many times I wish I could go back and just…collect. Enjoy. Times with Salvy that I didn’t slow down and give it my all. Times when I would stare at my phone, not being fully present. Times when I would fixate on what was next instead of embracing the moment I was in.

Gia was mature enough to make that kind of choice when she was only…what? Fifteen? Sixteen? Damn. She made the right decision, but I hate that she had to make it at all. And so young.

Pictures of the moon and stars and quotes—lots of quotes—fill the rest of her walls. All of them so otherworldly, it’s like she’s in the wrong place, longing for somewhere far off. One quote in particular catches my eye, it reads Just Passing Through, and I wonder if that’s true. She’s always on the move for one thing or another.

I look over at her.

Not right now though. Right now, I got her, and I can collect this moment to keep for later. To keep for always.