Page 156 of The Comedown

Julian’s quiet for a while, then asks slowly, “What was I doing?”

My eyes meet his. Do I really need to say it?

He winces, it’s brief but it’s there, before he chuckles, saying, “Shit. We can go get your boy back right now if that’s the case.”

“Julian…”

“Collette. You think I give a fuck if people know I do drugs? Let that motherfucker leak everything he has on me. Holter will be back with us in no time.”

“He has more.”

“Of?”

I glance at my phone again, reading Irelynn’s short reply that the ticket’s been purchased and the car’s on its way to pick up Jack.

I drop my hands by my sides, exhaling. “Me. Us. He’s got everything.”

The forced optimism on Julian’s face is quickly replaced with something much darker, making him look scarier than Bodee ever did.

“What. Does. That. Mean?”

“Where should I start?” I bark out a laugh, my insides splintering in a way I’ve only ever felt once before. “He’s got everything, Julian. From the first day of tour until now. He’s even got us that day by the river.”

“But…it was just my back, right? I was blocking—”

“You’re not listening. He’s got everything. The photos were taken from across the river, so they show, in great fucking detail, everything you were doing to me.”

“That’s impossible,” he spits.

“Is it? Take a look around.” I gesture at the paparazzi still scuttling around like crabs in the sand. Today’s gonna be a big payday for them. They got a lot of material. “Look at the size of the lenses they have here today, and that’s when they’re close enough for us to actually see them.”

Paps will go to any lengths to get the perfect shot, it’s literally their job. The more salacious the better. That’s how photos of celebs on yachts are caught without the stars ever realizing they’re under surveillance. The photogs don’t just go puttering up next to a million-dollar mansion on water in a fishing boat they rented for the day and announce themselves. Their lenses have lenses.

“So he, Bodee, has pictures right now of you with your skirt up?” he questions, his fists clenching and unclenching by his sides, and I can tell he’s working to control his temper in front of those same lenses still aimed at us as we make our way to the hotel.

Bodee knew exactly what he was doing catching me out here with my guard down, and with as many bodyguards as he brought along to make it even more of a display, he couldn’t have planned it any more perfectly.

He even accounted for my defiance. He didn’t like it, but he was ready for it nonetheless with not only a plan B, but also a plan C and a plan D. When Bodee Keys comes for you, he comes prepared. There’s nothing half-assed about his takedowns.

He was right, he has been taking it easy on me.

“And he threatened to leak those?”

“Yes, but he’s not going to now.” I frown. “Or he is, but he’s holding off while he has Holter. I don’t know actually, he didn’t say. But he has hard copies, digital copies, and who knows what else, so he could do whatever he wants with them, whenever he wants.”

“Why didn’t you fight for them? Why didn’t you try to get them back?”

“Because I don’t care!” I whisper-shout. “I have bigger things to worry about right now than pictures of my pussy making the rounds.” As stressful as it is knowing Bodee could still leak those photos at any given moment, it’s nothing compared to the worry I feel for my family. I won’t be able to relax until I have confirmation Jack’s in the sky, heading in the opposite direction as Holter and Mary.

We resume walking in strangled silence before Julian bursts, “So what? Fuck it. We’re together now. I’m not ashamed of anything we’ve done together. It fucking sucks people might see you like that, but if that’s what’s keeping you from getting Holter back, I say call his bluff and see if he actually does it.”

If I thought I could cry right now without falling apart completely, I would. This is how Julian and I are the same inside.

“I already did that,” I tell him quietly.

“Then why’d he still take Holter?”

“Because Bodee’s not threatening to only go to the press. He’s threatening to share the photos to the court system, to a judge he’s got a connection to, so he can take full custody of Holter.”