Page 30 of The Comedown

Her hands find my chest and I prepare to beg, to bribe, hell, I don’t care what she asks for, I just don’t want this to be over yet, but she says, “The bass sounds like shit on the floor monitors because the bigger ones haven’t shown up yet. You’d know that if you were here for sound check. Good luck,” then pushes, sending my ass sprawling back on to the stage. When I turn around, she’s gone and I’m right back where I started—purgatory, but now with low-quality speakers.

What an asshole.

Collette

“Thanks again, Antonio. I appreciate it.”

“No worries. I’m happy to help. I forgot my heartburn medication last night, so I needed to make a stop here anyway,” the driver says, rubbing his chest with a grimace.

The hotel everyone stayed in last night is only a mile from the ocean, so Holter and I woke up early to jog along the shoreline while having the beach to ourselves. We were surprised to stumble across Antonio, who was sitting by himself in the sand, staring out at the waves. He looked so contemplative, I didn’t want to bother him, but when we returned and he still hadn’t moved from his spot, I asked if he could let me on the bus to grab a few things for the day. After dropping Holter back off in the hotel suite to shower, we walk down the street to where both buses were parked overnight. The hood of my oversized hoodie is pulled down to my eyebrows and I’m wearing the biggest pair of sunglasses I own. Neither prevent me from being able to make out the telltale sign of a rager on Julian’s bus as we approach. Probably because it’s still going on…at eight thirty in the morning.

“Is it always like this?” I ask Antonio, and he gives an entirely different grimace, nodding. “Even without Julian there?” I know he had his own suite last night.

“Julian?” Antonio gives me a long look before saying, “Julian’s never there.”

“What do you mean? Where is he?”

A series of several thumps has us both twisting our heads in time to see Julian sliding down the steps of his bus, catching himself on the railing before his ass hits the last one.

“Maybe there,” Antonio says, and I cock my head.

“Only maybe?”

His lips purse. “Only maybe.”

“Good afternoon,” Julian greets when he stands, bowing dramatically.

“It’s morning,” I tell him.

He drops the act to examine his surroundings. “Which morning?”

“I’ll unlock the door, then leave you with the keys,” Antonio tells me.

“That’s not necessary. I’ll only be a minute.”

The older man eyes Julian who’s studying us through red, puffy eyes.

“You can give them to Bruce later and I’ll just get them from—”

“I’m not giving them to Bruce.” I don’t want another man having access to my belongings.

“I’ll hold on to them,” Julian offers, but neither of us acknowledges him because Julian having access to my sleeping quarters is a hard no, even if I’m not sleeping here tonight.

Why did he?

“I promise I’ll be quick,” I tell Antonio, gesturing for him to go ahead and unlock the door to the smaller of the two buses. “I don’t want to be around here any longer than I have to.”

With the door now open, Antonio turns to face me, lowering his voice to say, “He’s in a lot of pain.”

“What kind of pain?”

“The kind nobody can see.”

I look over at Julian. He’s trying to light a cigarette but can’t get the flint wheel to roll correctly and ends up throwing it across the pavement of the abandoned parking lot we’re in, flipping the inanimate object off when it skitters to a stop a good distance away.

“Because he doesn’t want anybody to see or because nobody bothers to look?”

“Both.”