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“Yeah, I do.” He cuts me off with a peck. “I want to. Go.”

I get a pat on my butt before he turns to leave. I have to bite my lip as I watch him go. He’s shirtless, hard, and he’s going to make me breakfast. What alternate reality did I wake up in?

Oh, crap.

As quick as I can, I rush back to my room to find the nightlight plugged into my wall. I stare at it until it sinks in. This is real life. My real life.

On my way to the bathroom, I swipe my phone off the nightstand. It’s only at fifteen percent battery, just enough to check my notifications. Unsurprisingly, there are a couple emails about cheer camp, but that’s it. No calls or texts.

Sitting on the toilet for way longer than necessary, I tap the Recents button in Calls, then groan at seeing Guy Humphries in red at the top. I thought I called him last night. But I didn’t know he called me back.

My thumb hovers over his name.

I don’t know why but I glance at the door. Even though it’s closed, I can’t shake the feeling that Khaos is going to burst in here any second and find me…going back?

The saliva in my mouth turns sour. I won’t go back to Guy, not now, not ever.

But I do wonder… What did he want? To apologize? To check on me? Make sure I got home okay?

I don’t care. There’s nothing he could say that would justify cheating on me with Lisann. As for me getting home, he should’ve driven me himself if he was that concerned.

Not that he could’ve given how badly Khaos beat him up.

Is he okay today? Was he last night? Did he make it home?

Ugh! Why do I still care? I shouldn’t. He has Lisann for that now.

Turning my phone off, I stare at the black screen.

Guy has Lisann. Because he and I are over. Officially. For good. Four years just…done.

Heartrate speeding up, I drop my head to rake all five nails through my hair starting from my forehead to the base of my skull.

We were already kind of broken up but…not really. I could still depend on him, if I wanted. If I needed. Now I can’t. Now we’re done-done.

That’s fine. I’m fine. I’ll be fine. Cheer is starting back up this week, giving me something else to focus on. I’m not as alone anymore thanks to Khaos. Khaos…who’s downstairs, waiting for me, and I’m in here, taking forever.

Oh, God. What does he think I’m doing up here?

Even though it doesn’t match at all, I change into the bikini he picked out. As I do, I look around the bathroom for clues from last night. Unfortunately, nothing registers. It’s like I blacked out in this space specifically. Although, now that I’m trying, I don’t even remember getting into the house. Parts of the ride home are blurry, too. I know Khaos drove, and Tina and Dex were with us. I vaguely remember saying bye to them, but then after that it’s like I was drifting in and out of consciousness. Maybe I was. Khaos’s hoodie was so warm and comfortable. Just like his truck. Just like his presence.

In the bathtub is Guy’s toothbrush. Not sure why. Draped over the shower rod is my makeup rag, rinsed and squeezed out. On the floor is Khaos’s belt along with my dress, bra, and underwear, all of which are stuffed in the corner.

At least he left me that pair, I think to myself as I step back into my bedroom. Everything that took place in here is almost too vivid. My face warms at the memory of touching myself—pleasing myself—while Khaos watched from the chair.

That certainly was a choice… A drunken one.

But I was sober when I offered to do the same thing at 7 Minutes in Sea Haven. I was also sober when I let a stranger tie me to a tree and go down on me.

I fight the urge to cover my face.

If I’m going to start living my life for myself, I can’t do it in constant regret. I made those decisions and I stand by them.

Releasing the shame trying to take hold, I steel my spine and embrace the same kind of confidence I use when cheering. The same kind I use around Khaos.

I know what’s going to happen when I go downstairs. Swim, sure—allegedly anyway—but Khaos intends to fuck me. Knowing that, I’m going to leave this room, go down there, and have sex with him. Not just because he wants it, but because I do, too. I have for a long time, and now I’m actually available.

I don’t need to hold back. I don’t need to feel guilty.