Page 27

“Hm, telling.”

“What about your mom? What did Guy say about her yesterday? ‘Pulled a Sera.’ What does that mean?”

“My mom and dad were not a good match. They cheated on each other.”

My feet grow ten times heavier as I slow my steps.

“So that’s what Guy was implying. That I—”

“That you cheated on him. With me.”

“Basically.”

“That was your opening. You should’ve told him.”

“No. It would kill him.”

Hopefully.

“He’s a pussy.”

“So you’ve said. Care to share why you think so?”

“He just is. From his bad haircut—”

“Mullets are in right now.”

“—to his overall vibe.”

“What’s wrong with his vibe?”

“I don’t know. It just gives pussy.”

“I disagree.”

“You love him?”

“I couldn’t imagine my life without him.”

“Is that love?”

Her laugh doesn’t sound very humorous when she questions, “Who knows?”

No one living under this roof apparently.

More seriously, she says, “We’ve been together for four years. Guy’s comfortable to me.”

I frown. Comfortable?

“Why? What’s so comfortable about him?”

“For starters, he’s never put a toaster in my bathtub.” She spins to face me and begins smoothing my shirt, mostly where she grasped it earlier but also my pecs. I don’t know if my nipples were ever sensitive before this moment, but they definitely are now. A couple more brushes to them and I’ll be hard as a rock.

What were we talking about? Guy?

“Because he’s a pussy?” I somewhat joke. I shouldn’t have put the toaster in the tub but Guy is a pussy.

“Maybe he just doesn’t like the taste of burnt pussy.”