Page 31 of The Bleeding Hearts Club

Down a little ways from where most people are sitting, near the line of chairs that I had found solace earlier in the week, sits a lone fire pit with a single occupant. I know before I even see his golden hair sticking up in the firelight that it’s him. Theo looks…dejected. There is really no other word.

His shoulders are slumped, and his head sits in his hands, elbows resting on his knees. The energy radiating off of him is like someone had told him he would never get to achieve his dreams.

Shit. Is that what I am? Is that why he looks so sad?

Theo snaps around to look at me, and he looks even worse for wear. The light and humor constantly painting his face is gone. He’s just blank, hollow.

“Hey,” he croaks, turning back to the flames. I walk behind him, sitting in the sand next to him.

“Theo, what happened?” I speak low, and hopefully in what seems like a soothing tone. I don’t want him to think I’m angry or upset about what happened in my room. Mostly, I’m just so confused.

“I—” he chokes. He turns to me, his eyes are full of so much regret and pain that it hurts me to look at them.

“I’m so sorry I hurt you.” A sob escapes him.

“What?” I’m so fucking confused.

“I hurt you. I cut you. I made you bleed. I didn’t even ask if that would be okay. God, I’m so fucking stupid. I’m so sorry. I thought I was getting so close to finally having you, to you giving me a real chance, and I fucked up so bad. I didn’t mean to. I used too much pressure. You were trusting me so much, and I just wasted that. I couldn’t control myself, and look what happened. You screamed, Mina. I hurt you.” He rushes through his words spitting through what he thinks happened.

“Theo, no. That’s not—”

“Mina, just…please don’t hate me. Please,” he pleaded with tears in his sparkling blue eyes.

I reach out and take his hand in mine. The instant comfort that it brings him is physically evident in the way the tension in his shoulders lessens and he takes a deep breath. “I don’t hate you. You didn’t hurt me, Theo. That scream,” I laugh a little, shaking my head. “That was definitely not painful. I think I was hurt more that you just walked out on me.”

He curses under his breath, jerking his hand back. “Yeah and I swore I wouldn’t do that either. God, I’m a piece of work. I know about your past, Mina. I know the fucked up shit that those guys put in your head and I know that despite them doing all of that, and you still trying to make it work, they walked away from you. They hurt you. And you were left lying in that bed thinking I just did the same thing,” he laughs humorously. “You should hate me right now, and it’s a testament to how fucking amazing you are that you don’t.”

“That’s not how I meant it, Theodore,” I disagree. “I just meant that I was hurt that you left without even trying to talk about what happened, and more so, that we didn’t continue.”

He looks speechless, mouth agape, eyes shining with hope.

“Here’s how this is going to go.” I take his hand back, giving it a squeeze. “Tonight, I’m going to go back to my room and take my list Amara will leave on my desk, and grab the form we’re supposed to fill out.”

Theo looks away, clenching his jaw.

“Then, I’m going to throw the list away.” Theo turns to me confused.

“And I’m going to write your name on my form. No one else’s.”

A small smile teases the edges of his lips.

“You can do with that information what you will, however, I will expect that tomorrow morning around 5:30, because you know I don’t do mornings but you do, you better be ready when I knock on your door in a pair of swimming trunks, and be prepared for the best day of your fucking life. Got it?” I raise my brow at him, holding back my smile.

“Yes ma’am.”

The elation that fills me is indescribable.

“Excellent,” I say as I stand. “Don’t stay out here too late. I would hate for you to miss the deadline tonight.”

“Thank you,” he whispers in a small voice.

“Thank me tomorrow, Theodore. Sweet dreams.”

* * *

5am was a mistake. I should’ve told him noon.

Yet, here I am, in a black one piece and the shorts I wore the first day pulled over it, standing in the hall outside of his room with a bag full of food, a sheet pulled from my bed—minus the blood and cum stain—trying to get the same confidence I had last night during my speech to knock on his damn door.