Page 7 of When Darkness Calls

“God-fucking-damn it, Dee. Get back here!”

I ignore him, cutting through one of the yards on the street down a small alley. If I can put some distance between us, and find a street sign or something, I’ll call Liz and tell her to pick me up. I’ll just stay with her tonight. Knowing Grayson, as soon as he finds those keys he will hunt me down, or at the very least wait for me at home. But I can’t deal with him tonight. I’m too mad. Too annoyed and frustrated, and honestly at this point, too fucking tired.

Tonight was supposed to be good. I wanted so much for it to be good. To be fun. Maybe it was too much to ask for.

My feet drag me down street after street, alley after alley. Each step in my heeled boots on the concrete reverberates through the air. The clicks and thuds echoing off brick walls and metal buildings. A rock bounds feet ahead of me. With every brush of my toe against its jagged edge, it careens into another cycle of turning over and over and over.

I felt like this rock sometimes. Lying completely dormant through the torrential elements of the world outside of me, awaiting a moment when a force would drive me to react, to feel, to do anything. I lived each day in a perpetual loop. But “live” is almost too strong a word for what I truly did. I was present each day. Here, but…not really. To say I was living would mean my heart would be pounding, blood would be rushing, and I would feel emotions beyond the scope of what those dipshits at the party evoked.

Experiencing that wasn’t living either. It was hiding. Hiding from anger, shame, humiliation, resentment, loneliness. Then, just…reacting? It seems I do that more than anything anymore. It’s like I’m a passenger in my own life.

I just want to live again.

As I round the corner by a park, I realize I’m not ready to call it a night. It was the perfect autumn night with the stars glittering in the sky. My feet brushed through the damp grass toward the merry-go-round. The cold metal bit into the exposed skin of my shoulder, arms, and back of my thighs when I laid in the middle, spinning it slowly.

There was a soft creaking sound, metal on metal, scraping with each rotation. Trees rustled. The wind whistled. The peace I had felt outside the party, before Grayson barreled in making everything a mess, returned in waves of ebbing tension.

Grayson was such an asshole. I understand if he was angry with the way those guys and that girl had acted, but his behavior wasn’t necessarily the pinnacle of well-mannered.

Insinuating that I was asking for people to make comments on my body and to sexualize me for my size, or hell, just being a woman in general, was disgusting, even if he didn’t intend to. I scoffed to myself, shaking my head.

Knight in shining armor, my ass. More like a prick in a cardboard box. I snorted.

The numbers on my phone say it's nearly two in the morning. Sighing, I haul myself up to sit criss-cross on the slowly spinning metal.

Liz’s contact picture fills the screen as I call her. She stares at me with wide eyes filled with surprise wearing a fuzzy green sweater. Her dirty blonde hair pulled up high, tied around a plastic water bottle, tape pulling the tip of her nose upward really pulling the whole “Cindy Lou Who” look together.

She was so mad when she saw the picture I had taken of her caught off guard before the school play of “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”.

“Dani, are you okay?” The call has barely connected before her concern filters through the speaker.

“Yes. No. I don’t know,” I sigh in frustration, tears welling in my eyes. “I’m so tired and pissed and honestly, fucking hungry.”

“What happened? Where are you? Are you home?”

“No, I’m not. I’m…I don’t even know exactly where I am. Some park a couple of streets from the party, I think. So much happened. So fucking much.”

“Okay, just stay there. I’m leaving now. I’ll be there soon, Dee Dee. Don’t go anywhere.”

The line clicks as it ends. So much really did happen tonight. It’s hard to wrap my mind around it all. Yeah, maybe I really was kind of dreading the party, but the first couple of hours I had fun. Ignoring everything from the kitchen until I was outside, even that moment alone, just soaking in the fall atmosphere was nice. Even getting to sit with Grayson wasn’t so bad…initially.

Who am I kidding? Today has been shitty.

Twigs snapping from behind the jungle gym rip me from my thoughts. Looking from left to the right, I don’t see anything around the park.

“Hello?” My voice shakes. It’s not uncommon for animals to roam around the streets at night here, but I really don’t want to fight off a raccoon or a rabid squirrel.

The only response, however, is silence. It rings through the air in the middle of the playground.

From the corner of my eye, a shadow by the trees moves. My eyes sliced in that direction. Tree limbs waved in the late October breeze.

A bush by the swings rustles loudly, harshly. My neck snaps toward it. My breathing quickens. My pulse races. Adrenaline courses down my spine. Tingles shoot down to my toes and fingertips. It’s difficult to swallow.

“H-hello?”

The rustling stops. My body screams for me to run back to the party. To find Liz. Call Cade. Call Grayson. But my feet drag me to the bush.

With a slow, shaky hand, I kneel forward, fingers barely grazing the leaves. I suck in a breath.