Page 154 of Shifter Situations

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Knowing that this was the final feeling they went through should have soothed me, in a psychotic sort of way, but all it did was make the floodgates open faster.

What had I done to my own mate?

Tears streamed down my face as I peered at his prone form through blurry eyes. I leaned over him, bringing my ear close to his mouth while holding my hair back. I was motionless as I waited for movement, some kind of sign that I hadn’t—

I couldn’t feel him breathing.

I… I couldn’t feel him breathing.

Panic and pain clawed at my chest as I wheezed out a sob.

I had to keep him alive.

Think, godsdamnit. Think.

Falling apart wouldn’t do either of us any good.

I wrapped my hand around his, hoping to feel his fingers twitch, as I counted to ten.

Nothing happened.

His lashes didn’t flutter. His chest didn’t lift.

His heart didn’t beat.

All I could think about was how little time I’d had with him—with any of them—and how selfish that thought was.

I wasn’t ready for him to die.

I never would be.

And I wasn’t going to sit by idly and let it happen.

I‘d meant what I said when I told them that I wouldn’t let anything hurt them anymore. And yet, I’d done exactly that, just as I knew I would.

I’d told Palmer that I was a curse.

That I was the punishment.

But I could also be the godsdamn reward.

How dare this bastard die on me!

I fought to control my breathing through the excruciating pain, knowing I needed to center myself to get anything done. My cheeks burned as I wiped my hands across my damp face.

My whole world spun on its axis as I opened myself completely to the chaos inside me. Any lingering trepidation left me in a massive wave of emotions.

The rage would always be within me, but I’d suppressed the rest for too long. Slowly engrossing myself in them wasn’t enough, anymore.

I wasn’t enough.

Not without all these emotions.

And they needed a controlled release.

I could do that. I could make it work. There were no other options.

I placed my hands on his chest, pushing as much power into him as I could possibly grab hold of. Then I threw even more at him, exhausting myself to a point where I could no longer grasp his hand. I couldn’t discern the pain from losing a mate and the pain from depleting myself.