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“You’re not going to hold it over my head what I did when we were fourteen, are you?”

“No.”

She turned her head. “Yes, you are. Why didn’t I see this before?”

Where had she gone wrong that maybe he was silently scared over her saying they were better off as friends?

That they wanted or needed different things in their lives.

“Nothing to see,” he said, trying to stand up.

She grabbed his hand and pulled him back. “Don’t do that. Don’t shy away. We need to talk about this.”

“Marly, you’re making more out of this.”

“No, I think you’re not letting enough of it out. You know I love you. I know you love me. You’ve got some baggage.”

“More than some,” he said dryly.

“You know what I mean, but you’re not alone. Even as a child I put goals and projects and dreams ahead of what I really wanted or felt.”

“You did,” he agreed.

“And I’m strong enough to admit that. I’m sorry I hurt you. You think you were the only one hurt back then?”

His eyes were moving over hers. “Were you? You ended it.”

She felt like such a fool.

It was as if it hit her all at once.

Women left him. Engagements. Divorces.

They were the ones to cut. They were the ones to not stick.

And maybe it started all along with her.

“We were kids, Colson. Looking back, if we had stayed together, I’m positive you would have moved on. I was holding you back from experiencing things. From being the kid you wanted to be. That you needed to be. You were escaping your home life, but I didn’t see it back then. I do now.”

“Maybe being with you gave me that though. The escape. The need to feel that something more was out there. Something that I didn’t have.”

She shook her head slowly. “I’m not going to tell you your feelings were wrong,” she said. “They weren’t. And honestly… maybe I needed a little more of that reckless, fun side of you back then. Maybe it would have been good for me.”

“I’d like to think that,” he said.

She paused, searching for the right words.

“But we still wouldn’t have lasted,” she continued gently. “Not the way we were. We were heading in completely different directions, even if we didn’t see it yet. Eventually something would have broken us apart.” Her eyes held his. “I think ending it when we did… staying friends… that’s the only reason we’re here now. If we’d held on longer—when we were older, when things started getting more serious—everything would have been messier.”

“Considering I’ve been there enough, you’re probably right.”

She drew a quiet breath. She hated that for him, but she couldn’t change his past either.

“Maybe you would have been my first. Maybe the feelings I have for you now would have started back then. But if they had… they probably would have been crushed along the way. Or at least worn down and tarnished by the time life pulled us apart. Let me ask you. Your exes, after they left. The way things ended. Would you ever give them another chance?”

“No,” he said, shaking his head and reaching for her hand, threading their fingers together.

“And what we have now… it’s too good to risk losing like that. It’s here because of the past. I see it. I just hope you do.”