Page 134 of Where Sinners Repent

I will my legs to stand. Beg my lip to stop shaking.

“Roxy,” Kai drags in a breath, boots crunching over the frame’s glass to crouch down to my level. “What’s wrong?”

Finally, I let the tears escape. My mouth opens to tell him everything, but the video of Maddy replays in my mind.

So I lie. Sobbing and surrounded by glass.

“I broke your present,” I cry, tears streaming down my cheeks.

His brow lines, and he searches my face. Then he pulls me in for a hug.

He doesn’t even know how much I needed that hug. How badly I don’t deserve it.

Because tomorrow I’m going to do something so terrible. Something I won’t be able to come back from.

But I’m selfish. I melt into his arms and let him comfort me, even though I don’t deserve it.

“Fuck the present,” he murmurs against my hair.

It just makes me sob harder.

Chapter 33

Kai

Just as I thought, these decorations are preposterous. The Santa Claus standing in the middle of the table, which keeps dancing every time someone presses on its hand, makes me feel a little bit violent.

Roxy has been up here all afternoon with Ash and Maddy setting up. I let her go alone. One, because I knew Ash would be here. Two, I had her present to wrap. Kaleb is wrapping her other one as we speak. I texted him that we were doing Christmas, and he barged into the apartment a few minutes later searching for the baseball bat.

Searching the room, I find Maddison and Roxy dancing in the kitchen, drinks in their hands and music blaring.

Already slurring. Cheap fucking dates.

Standing in the room, invisible to them, I can’t help but watch her. She looks so carefree. Smiling with her cheeks flushed, wearing a matching red oversized shirt with Maddison that says, ‘Tis the Season to Be a Hoe.

Her laugh makes my cock ache, and I curse the national holiday for stealing my alone time with her away. But seeing her happy is almost worth it.

Especially after today.

I want to cleave her skull open and lay her mind bare to me. Something happened today in her studio, and I don’t believe for a second that it was about the present. Pushing her on it just made her run upstairs with the excuse of needing to set up.

I decided I’d leave it.

For tonight.

I’ve never really had a Christmas. Not a real one with music playing and a tree with presents. And I heard what my girl said in the shops, although she didn’t intend me to. She’s never had one either. Neither has Maddison.

Turns out we are all a bunch of discarded people, who somehow found each other in this rotten fucking city.

So I’ll listen to the tacky songs and watch my girl dance like there isn’t a war on our doorstep. I’ll even ignore the dancing Santa. Because we need this. All of us.

I hear the door open and close, and I take my eyes off Roxy to peer at Kaleb, who has a very poorly wrapped present in his hands. He winks at me before putting it under the tree.

When he makes his way over to me, he freezes beside me. I already know he’s watching what I’m watching.

“Fuck, the potatoes!” Roxy gasps, and they rush the oven that has smoke steaming out of it.

Maddison squeals and starts wafting it with a tea towel, while Roxy twists the oven controls frantically.