Page 146 of Where Sinners Repent

In the darkest corner of my mind, I pray that the wounds never heal. That they pull every time I move. Just one last reminder of them.

Searching for my phone on the bedside table, I see something gut-wrenching. Kaleb’s fucking beautiful knife. Left there for me.

My fingers close around it; the heavy steel cool to my touch.

“Fuck,” I whimper again, biting back the tears that threaten to pour down my cheeks and never fucking stop.

I spot my phone on the dresser and force my stiff legs to move. The screen clicks on, and I gasp.

It’s not still morning. It’s the next night. Eleven twenty PM.

I almost missed my deadline, dead to the world in this small slice of depraved heaven. Frantically, I search for my clothes, finding some tights and a big jumper.

I’m not ready to leave. I’d give my life for just five more minutes here, with them. Five more minutes of sitting around that table, pretending that there is no bad outside the door. No people who want to harm us and our family.

Five more minutes in their arms.

Time’s up.

There are missed messages on my phone. One from Maddy, who sent me a picture of Leon passed out and Ash sticking a candy cane up his nose. And another of us two, when we were taking selfies during cooking.

There is a third, and when I click on it, a sob escapes me. A photo of Kai, Kaleb, and me. Sitting at the table, with me in between them. I’m looking off at someone, mid-laugh, and Kai and Kaleb are looking at me. Their faces still have that stony expression, at least to everyone else. To me, I see it.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper to them on my screen. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

I shut the phone down before I do something stupid like stay.

I grab my sketchbook and a black pencil, tearing out a page with shaking hands. I scribble my message with blurry, tear-filled eyes. I weigh it down with Kaleb’s knife. Then, I reach around and unclasp the necklace, leaving it behind.

Maybe one day they’ll find someone worth giving these to. Because that girl isn’t me.

My hand wraps around Kitty. My only friend, once again.

Without looking back, I leave their apartment. Leave their scents and their belongings. Leave their lives.

As quietly as my boots allow, I run down the stairs. I can feel them when I hit the last floor. My stupid, reckless heart warming at the thought of being closer to them.

We can’t have them; I chastise the thing.

It’s quiet on the other side of the door. No celebrations. No drunken slurs and pool balls sinking. Just some faint voices.

I don’t give myself a second to listen for them. It’d break me. Instead, I turn towards the back door. Twisting the handle as slowly as I can. As soon as I pull it open, an icy wind blows my hair back. The moon is hidden behind the clouds, and the darkness makes me nervous.

They could already be out here. But it’s too late to turn back now. I make sure it’s unlocked and can open from the outside before pulling it closed. Shutting me out from the Devils and their club.

Ash called me a Devil last night.

He couldn’t be more wrong.

I’m a coward. A Wraith. A fucking Kavanagh.

So I run like one. Into the darkness with no real destination. Away from the only people I have ever loved. The only people, that despite everything, loved me back.

Chapter 36

Kai

“We’ve got rifles, but fuck all to feed them with,” Xavier grumbles. “Handguns and machine guns are doing alright, but with no new orders coming anytime soon, we’ve got to conserve ammo.”