Page 3 of Fueled Hate

Willow had messaged me no less than five times asking me to let her know when I arrived for the government class we’d signed up for together. It does help having a familiar face and study partner, so we try to coordinate some classes.

“Has it been that bad?”

“Yes. All the classes I need are full, so I’m stuck with my 7 a.m. class. The professor even seemed miserable to be there.”

“It’s the first day. No one is thrilled to be here.”

Willow continues recapping her uneventful early morning class on our way through the corridor, heading to the classroom. Walking about halfway down the lecture hall’s stairs, we take a seat as people continue to trickle in. Pulling my messenger bag onto my lap, I struggle to get the zipper open. Replacing the bag is long overdue. It’s the same one I’ve had since high school. The same one my mom said she loved because it reminded her of me. I agreed at the time, but now the only thing it reminds me of is her. I don’t want a new bag. I want the bag she helped me pick out. It feels silly, but there are so many small pieces I cling to that remind me of her.

Pulling the zipper as hard as I can, I force it open, and the bag tilts forwards. Several pencils and a notebook slide out onto the floor before I can catch them. As I reach down, someone stoops in the aisle beside my chair and grabs the contents from my bag off the floor. When I look up, I’m met with the same set of eyes I’d stared down on the side of the road last night. There’s no way. Yeah, it had been dark, but there’s no mistaking him, and he looks even better in the light of day. A cohesive sentence is too much for me to muster at the shock of seeing him, so I sit there gaping as he drops my things in my lap, moves to the row across the walkway, and sits in a seat.

“Dayum. Not bad at all, Sadie,” Willow whispers as I finally snap out of my dazed state and drag my eyes away from him.

“That’s him,” I whisper to her, trying my best to avoid glancing in his direction again. I should avoid embarrassing myself further because I’ll probably just continue staring like an idiot. But really … what’re the chances he’s in my class?

“Who?” Willow doesn’t mind embarrassing herself because she keeps a watchful eye on him without hesitation.

“The guy that stopped when I had a flat. He just appeared out of nowhere and said he would help with the tire.” Much like he’d just appeared here out of nowhere.

“You never mentioned him.” Willow continues examining our fellow classmate.

“Nothing to mention. I told him I didn’t need help and changed the tire myself.”

“Of course you did.” Willow is amused, but I’m not sure if it’s by what I said or by the newest arrival at Haine University. “I would’ve let him help change a few things.”

“Where’s Parker? I’m sure he’ll change anything you want.” I purposely mention her boyfriend when unexpected jealousy rises in me. It’s not something I’ve ever felt towards Willow because she’s been such a great friend and I want nothing but the best for her. Also, I’ve always had Kyle, so there’s never been any sort of competing-for-a-guy’s-attention scenario between us. And also, she scored in the boyfriend department with Parker because he thinks the sun rises and sets with her, so there’s something about her eye fucking my Good Samaritan that rubs me the wrong way.

“Hm, I was just looking, but that’s never bothered Parker or you before.” She eyes me curiously with a smirk.

Shuffling my notebook around, I avoid her observation because it doesn’t make sense to me either. I don’t even know his name, for crying out loud. When I peek in his direction, I find he’s watching me. How did he end up in this class? I don’t believe in coincidences. Quickly looking away, I attempt to refocus on anything else. Luckily, the professor begins class, allowing for some distraction. Unfortunately, it does little to divert my attention from the mysterious guy who’s watching my every move.

After what feels like an eternity, the professor finally dismisses us, and I briskly gather my things and leave the room.

“Hey, why are you in such a hurry?” Willow asks as she jogs up behind me.

“No reason. Levi never responded to any of my messages all week.” It’s not only an attempt to change the subject but it’s also legitimately on my mind.

“He’s probably just been busy. It is the beginning of his senior year of high school.” Willow scans the courtyard as we duck into McCarthy Hall, headed for our favorite place on campus, Coyote Café. It’s our daily habit to sit in the café with a cup of coffee as we study for class. Willow’s always claimed to need noise instead of the quiet that our old dorm room (and new apartment) provide, and I always need coffee.

“I’m sure he is.” I grab a cup of coffee and head to our usual table, thankful that it’s open. We have a few backup places to sit, but it’s not the same. There’s something about the routine that helps my brain kick into gear for a study session. Yet, today my brain doesn’t seem to get the hint. I can’t focus on anything that I should be.

“Have you messaged your dad?” Willow drops her things on the table as she sits across from me.

“No, he has enough on his plate already, and it’s probably nothing.” Because Levi usually ignores me half of the time anyways, especially when the conversation involves anything of significance. I had some hope during the summer when Levi seemed to be headed on a good path, but he flipped a bitch and was back to his same old ways. Our dad keeps insisting it’s only a phase. Maybe he’s right. Or maybe he’s in denial. Or maybe he’s hoping the same as me, that something will spark inside of Levi and he’ll actually start enjoying life again and make the best of his senior year. Since our mom died, Levi has done nothing but strive to flush his life down the drain despite my dad’s efforts to keep him on the straight and narrow and my fruitless endeavor to be a positive example. How can you help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves? You can’t. It’s like spinning in circles. You’re moving but never making any progress.

“I’ll call my dad this evening if I don’t hear back from Levi by then.” I flip open my planner and pull out the syllabus for government, jotting down important dates. With the mess that my mind is, writing everything down provides some insurance.

“Kyle just walked in,” Willow says with disdain as she glares across the room.

After not hearing from him all night or even this morning, I’ve had zero lingering thoughts that something could have happened to him, no worried musings over possible terrible scenarios that kept him from meeting me—nope, this was typical Kyle. If he thinks I’ll muster a friendly attitude, he’s out of his mind, especially when I spot him walking up to the table with a cocky smile in place.

“Hey, babe. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” Kyle leans over to kiss me but I move back, out of his reach, looking up to him as his arrogant smile remains in place.

“You could’ve easily found me last night at Big Tobe’s. You know, for our anniversary date.”

He nonchalantly drops into the seat beside me. “Andrew had a bad situation that I had to help him out with. I couldn’t bail on him.”

“But you bailed on me. Again.” I’m unable to bite back my anger, but it’s still aimed more at myself. He’s a dickhead because I allow him to be one. It’s evident by his relaxed demeanor that he knew he could stand me up and everything would be fine the next day … because I’ll overlook it, like I always do. It pisses me off, yet I’m still unable to do anything about it.