Page 31 of Savage Salvation

“There’s nothing I feel shame for.” Maybe some regret for a weak moment. “It’d be none of your fucking business even if I did, right?” It’s bad enough I gave in to my desire, but the last thing I need is someone who’s supposed to be a friend throwing my bad decisions in my face. Besides, it’s none of his business. He’s the fool who’s been running around doing God knows how many IOUs for Gage. I move to step past him, finally realizing I’m locked out of my damn room. Great.

“Kinsley, I should’ve told you. He wanted us to play here. He arranged all of this.”

“Yeah. I know.”

Isaac gives me a dumbfounded look before cackling. “Of course, he’s automatically forgiven because it’s him.”

Why do I feel the need to explain myself to this idiot when he was in on the entire thing? “His dad died.”

“So.”

The bluntness hits me harder than if he’d said it any other way. “That’s right. You wouldn’t understand how that feels since you have both of your parents waiting for you at home.” I push pass him, marching down the hallway and get onto the elevator. Isaac steps on just before the door closes. Neither of us say anything to break the tension. When the doors slide open on Isaac’s floor, he steps out and doesn’t look back.

I ride down to the first floor, hurry to the lobby, and thankfully get a spare keycard from the clerk. Once I’m back in my room, I check my phone to see that Cruz messaged we’re leaving in an hour, forty-five minutes ago. It doesn’t give me much time, but I hurry to the shower, not only to enjoy the accommodation one last time before I go, but more so to get him off of me. Because every so often, I get a whiff of the intoxicating scent that lingers around him. And it shouldn’t be on me.

Once I’m showered and dressed in my favorite Metallica T-shirt and joggers, I rush out of the room and make it to the van with no time to spare, as all three guys sit in the van waiting on me. Once Cruz spots me, he cranks the ignition, and I climb in the side door and drop on the seat next to Benji. Isaac is up front, his head turned out the passenger window as Cruz drives away from the hotel, chatting away. We’ve been on the road about ten minutes when my phone dings with a message.

Unknown: You should’ve woken me up.

I should be shocked he has my number but I’m not.

Me: You were drooling so I figured I’d leave you to it.

Gage: That’s because I fell asleep with your naked body on mine.

I don’t have time to respond before another message comes through.

Gage: Let’s do it again. Stay at my place tonight.

Me: No.

Gage: One taste wasn’t enough. I need more.

Could I use him as a fuck toy? What the hell was I thinking? No, a dildo will be far less complicated than the unpredictable dick on the other end of the phone.

Me: Too bad. One and done.

Gage: I don’t recall agreeing to that.

Me: Like you’d ever agree with anything.

Gage: True. But I know you want to do it again. That we can both agree on.

This is not going well.

Me: Pass.

Gage: There’s no point in running from me now.

Great. Why can’t he be the one who doesn’t call the next morning? Or the one that gets his nut and moves on? The challenge is over. I gave in. And it did feel freakin’ fantastic.

Cruz’s rambling keeps me from falling into a lustful fantasy as he goes on about how fantastic the show was and how great the new lineup worked before he adds, “We should book another show there.”

Isaac and I both say no in unison as Benji remains silent. Cruz doesn’t seem to care about any of the reactions and continues babbling on as we make our way back to Radon. More than once, I imagine stopping at some random gas station, stepping out of the van, and just walking away. Go somewhere far away from Gage, Isaac, the Wagoners, Sacred Creed, and all of the miserable moments that await in Radon. But I don’t. I need to find out what my mom wrote. Even if it’s coming from a piece of paper, I know it’ll be worth getting to read what she has to say. I just pray her voice is still clear enough in my head to hear it from her, in her voice. Because the more time goes by, the more everything about her seems to slip away.

23

Gage