Page 92 of Mercy & Malice

He quickly says, “I want to. I just don’t want to mess up your first time because of my issues.”

I lean forward, resting against him. “I’m not having sex with you until you understand that we’re in this together. Pleasure and pain. And we’ll share both. I know you’d never do anything to intentionally hurt me, and you have to know that I wouldn’t either. They might have screwed with our minds and bodies, but one thing they will never do is break the trust I have for you. I trust you with everything. My body, my heart, my soul. It’s yours. It always has been.”

There’s a shift in his demeanor, an ache and desperation as he climbs over me. “I don’t want to hurt you again.” His mouth feathers a kiss over mine. His eyes close for a few seconds before he asks, “Are you sure this is what you want?”

“More than anything … if it’s what you want too. And if not, we can wait.”

He drops his forehead to mine as he exhales. “You’re going to regret this one day.”

“Never.” I pull his mouth back to mine, then I rub my hands down his back and to the waistband of his pajama pants. My fingers slip inside and push them down.

“Slow down, Brooke. We have time.” He gradually runs his hands up my sides and removes my shirt. His fingertips gently brush under the scar on my rib cage. He watches me as he strokes his tongue over my nipple before taking it in his mouth, sucking and teasing it until he switches to the other.

Unhurriedly, he kisses his way down my body. He’s at my stomach when he removes my panties. A hunger flashes across his face as he moves between my thighs, his tongue stroking over me as I lift to his mouth.

He slides his finger inside me as he watches me before licking my clit then covering it with his mouth as he sucks and devours me until the amazing sensation bursts in my core and flows throughout my body. I pray that he will be able to enjoy his climax. Not because of my need or want for him, but because he deserves to feel immense pleasure too.

He lazily kisses up my stomach, taking his time as I savor the orgasm vibrating through me. When his face is over mine, I see the hesitation and apprehension. “We don’t have to. I promise I understand if you’re not ready.”

His eyes close as he shakes his head. “I’ve wanted this for as long as I can remember.” He lowers, kissing me as he mutters, “We can stop at any time. Just give me the word.”

Not going to happen. “Okay. That goes for you too.”

Reaching over, he grabs protection then returns his mouth to mine. After a few seconds, he shifts back and rolls the condom on. “I’m not going to last long.”

“That’s okay. It might be a good thing since it’s not supposed to be the most comfortable thing my first time.”

“First and only.” He rubs the tip over me before slowly pushing inside. I grip his shoulders, digging my nails into his skin as I stretch around him. Not moving, he asks, “Are you okay?”

“Yes.” I nod my head, the discomfort mild compared to what I’d braced myself for.

When he gradually moves deeper inside me, I lift my hips to take more of him. He pulls out, then pushes back inside me. Each stroke growing faster until we’re in a steady, comfortable rhythm as the ache lessens and is replaced with need.

Pulling his mouth to mine, I kiss him as I say his name between moans.

When he grips my thigh and hooks it over his back, his body goes rigid as he groans, “Fuck.”

His forehead drops to mine as he takes a deep breath. “Next time will be longer.”

“Already planning for next time?” That gives me hope that he was able to enjoy it and not tormented by what happened in the past.

“Yes. I’m okay,” he whispers against my mouth. “Being inside you feels like heaven.”

I let the tear trail down my cheek as I look at the man I love. No one can break us. We’re going to be okay.

When he pulls out of me, he stands and offers me his hand. “Let’s go soak in the tub.”

After he discards the condom, he runs us a bath. We settle in the warm water with him behind me, my back resting against his chest as his arms hold me. He dips his hand in the water, brushing over me as he asks, “Are you sore?”

“Not really.” Maybe the water is helping. Or the way he’s stroking over me now. But sex was nothing like the horror story my mom had told me. Maybe it was because I chose the right person who cares about me and didn’t force his own need without worrying what it did to me. Or maybe she was trying to scare me so I wouldn’t want to have sex.

Micah keeps stroking my clit, his other hand massaging my breast as his mouth trails along my neck as he mutters, “Do you want me to stop?”

“No, don’t stop.” My hips rock until another orgasm bursts through my core and I relax against him, my body feeling like jelly in the very best way.

I close my eyes, moving my arms over his as I wrap them tighter around me. “Baths will never be as fun now.”

“Then I’ll have to join you every time.”