Page 45 of Golden Ruin

I step forward, cutting through the tension. “Hey, can we talk?”

When he sighs and lowers his head, I’m guessing he was expecting this, which means he listened to the podcast too.

“Sure.”

He steps toward the wall, resting his back against it as he slips both hands into the pockets of his jeans. He keeps his eyes down instead of looking at me, but maybe that’ll make things easier.

My hip drops against the railing that overlooks the living room, and I search for the words I somehow lost when I laid eyes on him.

“I heard what Tiffany said tonight,” I sigh. “I didn’t realize you two had ended things.”

He nods, still staring at his feet. “Yeah.”

I draw in a breath, choosing my words carefully. “I appreciate what you’ve done, giving me a place to stay while I get things sorted, but I’m not okay with you burning your own life down to help rebuild mine.”

He doesn’t speak, and as I stare at him through the darkness, the feeling of guilt hits me harder.

“It’s not a big deal. I’m sure Mom and Benny would be cool with Jax and me staying there if–”

“Lex, you’re family,” he cuts in. “Not like family. You are family.”

His voice is deep and thoughtful, like he’s been wrestling with this since the podcast went live. I feel the tension in the words, but not like it’s aimed at me. It’s maybe that… he’s tired of defending his decision to help me.

“I want you here,” he says, and my mouth closes with a snap, blinking as I take that in. “I mean, you and Jax. I want you both here.”

The correction makes my heart settle a bit.

“I get that, but–”

“Tiffany and I are done, but it’s no one’s fault but our own,” he admits. “We may have just recently called it quits, but we’ve been done for a long time. Or at least I have.”

That last part carries more weight than I think he realizes, but I let it linger without calling it out.

“I can’t believe she pulled this shit,” he grumbles, and I feel his energy. He’s in pain, frustrated, and maybe a little confused. “She only blames you because she doesn’t have the capacity to blame herself. Or even me fully. So, she had to put it on someone else, and you’re the closest target,” he says. “I’m sorry for that.”

I cross both arms over my chest as I push all the air from my lungs. “Don’t apologize. All you’ve done is try to help me.”

He nods like he understands, but I can see on his face that he’s still carrying it.

I’m watching him again, and I can’t help but wonder what tore them apart. If not me, was it just a collection of little things that amounted to a bigger issue over time? Did they just grow apart?

I try to fight the memory, but I’m suddenly back in time, remembering our last argument. I was raw and in pain, and he was fed up with not understanding the demons I was battling. At the time, I had no idea how to explain how deeply shit with my dad had affected me. Sterling saw me spiraling, and all of a sudden, I was too intense, hard to connect with. I resented the hell out of my father for walking out on me, but nothing hurt as bad as Sterling doing the same thing.

Nothing.

I swallow down the hurt before it takes me over. I’ve come too far to let that happen, so I focus on our conversation instead.

“At the very least, I think we should lay low, consider the optics.”

He barely moves his head as his eyes shift to me. “What’s that mean?”

I shrug. “Well, for starters, my doctor appointment. You offered to take me, but I think seeing us out together could give people the wrong idea. Something like that would only feed the rumor mill.”

He’s already shaking his head in protest, and I sigh. This man is unbearably stubborn, completely overlooking that I’m trying to be helpful.

“No fucking way.”

“God. Sterling–”