Page 5 of Golden Ruin

“Yeah, I’m looking for Jaxon and Alexia Golden.” My eyes slam shut as I slow down to clarify. “Jaxon Golden and Alexia Mendoza-Rodriguez.”

The woman clicks around on her computer for a moment, but before she can give an answer…

“Sterling.”

My head snaps toward Benny when he calls my name. The next second, I’m rushing that way, heart racing as I take in the state he’s in. Tissue balled in his hand, eyes red and pooling. Then, there’s Lexi’s sister. She’s inconsolable, wailing as her mother holds her and cries like they’re… like they’re already grieving.

That can’t be right.

“Are they… are…” This time, it’s my own voice that’s breaking. I drove here, desperate to hold it together, but as Benny pulls me into a hug, I feel myself falling apart.

“Hey, hey… I’ve got you,” he says, squeezing me tighter as I start to spiral.

“I can’t lose them. I can’t fucking lose them…”

“There’s still no word, so we just have to pray. Pray and believe they’re okay.”

But I need more than that. More than a hope and a prayer. I need to know my life isn’t about to fall apart.

His grip on me tightens, and I feel like I’m losing my shit.

“We’re here, okay? We’ve got you. Whatever happens… we’ve got you.”

Benny lets go, but his hand stays on my shoulder, keeping me close to his side. I breathe deep and try to do like he said. Pray and believe they’re okay. Because… shit… I need them to be okay.

The first time I held Jaxon in my arms is still one of my most vivid memories. He was so small and so perfect. My entire world shifted on its axis that day, in all the best ways. I was no longer just me, Sterling Golden. The most important thing about me became that I was this little guy’s dad.

I remember the distinct weight of responsibility settling into my chest. This deep-seated desire to protect him from everything. At all costs. And as I stand here, helpless, that weight might just crush me beneath it tonight.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” Benny grumbles.

I follow his gaze. Just beyond the entrance, paparazzi are starting to set up camp, aiming their cameras through the windows to catch glimpses of our pain.

“Give me a sec. I’m gonna go deal with this.”

I watch as he approaches the security guard near the door, gesturing toward the media circus forming outside. It never fails. Every sensitive moment, every private circumstance, these assholes are never far away.

Benny starts this way, mumbling to himself as the automatic doors glide open. Matt rushes in and immediately clocks Benny, stopping him a few yards from where I’m standing. There’s this look of pain and concern in the guy’s eyes that doesn’t sit right with me, but I don’t even have the headspace to process it right now.

“I got here as fast as I could. Have there been any updates?”

Benny shakes his head to answer Matt’s question. “Nothing yet. So, the best we can do for now is believe that no news is good news.”

Matt blows out a breath, shoving both hands into his pockets as his eyes lock with mine. He nods to acknowledge me, and I do the same, but that’s it. After that, he starts pacing and watching the tile beneath his feet.

I can’t just stand here anymore, wondering what’s going on back there. So, I make my way toward the information desk again, already deciding that I’m willing to make a scene if it’ll get me some answers. But before I make it ten feet, the double-doors swing open, and a nurse steps out.

My heart sinks, I freeze, and my feet refuse to move. I hear two scenarios echoing through my head at once. One where I’m being told everything’s okay, and I’m not losing it all tonight. Another where they’re saying they did everything they could.

That one… that one would be the fucking death of me.

“Family for Jaxon Golden?”

I rush straight over with my heart beating in my throat, breathing unevenly as I approach.

“Me. I’m his father. Sterling Golden.”

She nods. “He’s awake, but I can only take one person back at a time.”