Page 62 of Golden Ruin

I knew how to interact with that Lexi.

But as my gaze shifts to her now, and she smiles at me with this unfamiliar warmth in her eyes, my defenses come tumbling down.

“I know he was around for you guys when I wasn’t, and I guess it just fucks with me a little.”

My jaw is tight again, but not because I’m angry. This time, my pride’s slightly bruised having just admitted that.

I’m mid-thought when the back of my hand warms, and my eyes go there. To Lexi’s hand on top of mine.

“You do know you can never be replaced, right? Jax loves you so much I get jealous of the bond you two share sometimes,” she laughs. “The last thing in the world you should be thinking about is Matt overshadowing you.”

Her words land, but they shine a light on something more. Something that runs deeper still.

That it isn’t only Jax’s life where I’m worried about Matt overshadowing me.

It’s hers, too. Even though I can never say those words out loud.

Silence stretches between us, and she seems to notice how long her hand has lingered on mine. Clearing her throat, she slowly pulls away, doing what I didn’t have the strength to do.

“I should, um, get to bed,” she says, standing to her feet. “Which brings me to a very exciting announcement.”

It takes me half a second longer than it should to clear my head. “What’s that?”

Her smile grows. “I took your advice and moved into one of the guest rooms. Turns out I’m only fit to share a room with a four-year-old for so long, so–”

“Bout time,” I tease, pretending I’m not still distracted by our talk, by her touching me.

“Yep, so now that I’ll have my own bathroom, guess this means I won’t have to invade your space every night.”

I smile a little as so many realizations hit me all at once. That I’m not even sure I’m hiding my feelings well anymore. That she’s grown so much I’m not sure I can ever assume I know what she’s thinking. That having her “invade my space every night” is one of my favorite parts of the day.

Fuck.

This shit cannot be happening.

I can’t fall for her again.

“My tub’s still the best in the house, so let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

She thinks about that for a moment, then shrugs. “Okay, fair. Retract that last part, I guess. But the rest still stands.”

She walks toward the room adjacent to mine, but lingers in the doorway a bit.

“This was a good chat,” she says. “If you ever have concerns or just, you know… want to talk, you know where to find me.”

A hesitant smile curves her mouth, and I nod.

“Will do.”

She turns to walk away, and it feels like I should lighten the moment. Even if only for my own sanity.

“And if I ever come visit your room in the middle of the night, I’ll make sure I knock first. Because, you know, that’s what people do. They knock on doors before—”

“Wow,” she says, cutting me off without looking back.

Our conversation ends there, with her giving me the finger over her shoulder to the sound of my laughter.

She shuts the door, and my eyes stay trained there long after she disappears. I know she’s looking for her own place, but if something doesn’t happen soon… we’ll be in over our heads.