Page 85 of Golden Ruin

West laughs and clasps my shoulder. “Breathe, man. Where the hell is your poker face?”

I shake my head, finally tearing my eyes away to sip my drink. “Dead and gone, apparently.”

He laughs again, but I’m fighting for my life here.

The girls walk up, and I purposely keep my eyes on my glass because I know exactly where they’ll wonder if I don’t.

“Thanks for coming, everyone!” Dez says, and Ricky immediately loops an arm around her waist.

A resounding happy birthday fills the entire VIP section, and she’s smiling from ear to ear now.

“Thank you!” she grins, then steals a sip from Ricky’s glass.

He watches her, staring like a man obsessed. He whispers something in her ear that has her laughing behind her hand, and I turn away. Blue’s at West’s side, her head resting against his shoulder as he holds her close, his hand naturally gravitating toward her stomach, smoothing his palm over the small bump. I turn to Joss and Dane next, and I’m suddenly more aware than ever of how the three men I’m closest to are settled and happy.

Then there’s me.

I down the last of my drink, still doing my damnedest to avoid Lexi. But honestly, what’s the fucking point? We’re both adults. Adults currently living under the same roof.

“You look nice.”

The confused look on her face makes me lean into her space.

“I said you look nice.”

She draws in a quick breath now that she’s heard me. “Thanks. You too.”

I nod once, and I’m doing it again. Staring. Wishing touching her wasn’t off-limits.

Fuck.

She glances around the room, focusing on the dancefloor, but I know she’s just as aware of me as I am of her. With her standing so close, her perfume is fucking killing me. She smells like an entire damn pastry shop, and I swear my mouth’s watering.

“Can I get you a drink?” I ask, and she looks my way again, soft curls bobbing against her shoulders as she shakes her head.

“I’m good. Thanks, though.”

I nod again, and this reminds me why I hate small talk. It’s shallow and fake, and in our case, it’s taking up space where real conversations should be had.

Only, neither of us seems willing to go anyplace real these days. Anywhere in the vicinity of the truth has apparently become the danger zone.

Jules grips Scar’s arm as she leans closer. “Let’s go dance.”

Scar nods. “I’m down.”

They’re already moving to the music as they make their way to the dancefloor, and my gaze slips toward Lexi. She lingers, watching the girls but not joining them. I shouldn’t be thinking what pops into my head, but it’s already stuck there. That maybe not knowing what to say to me doesn’t mean she wants space. She could easily have let that be her excuse to go do her own thing, but instead, she’s still right beside me.

“Excuse me,” a girl says. Lexi and I take a step back as she and her friends squeeze between us and the table. But the last girl bumps Lexi by accident, making her heel slip.

“Shit,” she says with a startled breath. Her body falls against my chest, but I’ve already got her. My hand closes around her wrist on instinct, and there it is again. That feeling I can’t seem to outrun.

“Sorry,” the girl calls out, but she’s already gone with her friends before really knowing if Lexi’s okay.

“You good?”

“Yeah. Thanks.” She pushes a hand through her hair then casually steps away.

The air’s suddenly charged with tension, and it’s all because we touched. That’s all it took. Lex straightens her dress, trying to play it cool, but she’s nowhere near convincing me that this–being close, touching even on accident–doesn’t get to her.