Page 90 of Golden Ruin

Her body is tense, slowly coming down. I feel the difference, how she melts against me as her limbs go weak. The kiss slows, too, but I don’t stop touching her. My fingers sink into her again, and I’d give my right arm if it meant I could take her to bed and finish this the right way.

She places a single kiss on my chest, then another as her hands settle on my ribs, keeping me close. I love that she isn’t running. Not like before.

I rub her inner thigh before pulling my hand free, taking both sides of her neck. I bring her face to mine when I need to kiss her again. My body falls against hers, and it still feels surreal that we crossed this line. But that thought–and every other thought–leaves me when she pushes my pants low on my hips.

“What are you doing?” The words tumble from my mouth and across her lips before we kiss again.

She doesn’t answer.

“Lex. No. This wasn’t about me.”

If I let her continue, we run the risk of tonight feeling transactional, shallow. While I’m doing my fucking best to show her what this could be.

Something deeper, something solid, something… more.

But my words seem to fall on deaf ears, because she’s slipping her hand inside my pants, gently freeing my cock.

“Lex…”

She stops the kiss and stares up at me, softness in her eyes as she makes sure I see her.

“Sterling,” she breathes. “Let me.”

My eyes are locked on hers, at war with myself. As much as I want her, I don’t want her thinking the answer to feeling so much is to retreat. I can’t take that again, having her run from me before I’ve even asked her to choose me.

I want to check that she’s sure, want to give her another out, but her hand is already working up and down my cock.

“Fuck, Lex.”

My forehead lowers to hers, and I concentrate on the air filling and leaving my lungs far too quickly. She hasn’t forgotten how I like to be touched, how to make me come fast and hard.

“Shit… I’m already close. How the fuck do you do that?”

She lets out a quiet laugh against my chin, then kisses me there, giving an answer that makes my head spin.

“Because I know you, Sterling.”

I’m breathing harder now, feeling the truth in those words. More than anyone… this woman knows me.

With the hand not currently making me forget my own fucking name, she reaches around to my back, gently dragging her nails down my skin as she kisses me. It’s hot, it’s deep, and once she twists her tongue over mine, it’s my undoing.

“Fuck,” I groan, feeling her hand turn slick as cum pumps from my cock, spilling over her fingers. She captures my mouth when I break away, making me stay with her, making me ride this out with her tongue halfway down my throat while my heart nearly beats out of my chest.

She keeps me in her hand even after I’m soft, and the kiss is more relaxed and content now, but the important part is that her lips are still mine.

Eventually, she lets go but neither of us moves. We stand in the silence, taking up each other’s space, hearts beating too fast, knowing we crossed a line tonight. She places another of those absentminded kisses on my chest, tracing my tattoo again. It’s a reminder of who we used to be before life got complicated and painful, messy.

We just proved something extremely important, and I don’t have to question whether Lexi senses it too. It’s that no matter how hard we fought this, no matter how deep we thought we buried our past, our connection refuses to stay dead.

I should say something. The responsible thing would be to create some much-needed distance to reestablish the status quo, but… I won’t do that.

Because I don’t regret a single fucking second of it.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Lexi

Two weeks ago, crossing the line with Sterling made sharing a roof with him feel impossible. Now that he’s clear across the country in L.A., everything feels harder without him.